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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24737299">Naked and Alone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pattigreenbean/pseuds/Pattigreenbean'>Pattigreenbean</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Bugs &amp; Insects, F/M, HEA, Mention of pregnancy(not Rey), Minor Character Death, Oral Sex, Pining, Semi-Public Sex, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Vaginal Sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:33:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>39,334</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24737299</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pattigreenbean/pseuds/Pattigreenbean</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story of two strangers who have to survive for 21 days in the wilderness for a TV show.  Each has their own reasons and their own obstacles to overcome.  The journey is much longer and sweeter than they expected.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Finn/Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>376</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>168</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi, this is my first fanfic so if I missed a tag, my apologies.  Tell me and I'll fix it.  My husband made me watch the show and now he regrets it😂.  But seriously, thank you my Mr. for your support and helping me make the sex realistic.  Also, thank you to Chelsea for helping me even though I'm a horrible speller and have a total disregard for punctuation.  Working with her has been fun!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rey had her arm out the window, enjoying the warm breeze as the truck drove along the dirt road.  She knew she should feel anxious and afraid.  Her inner voice was tapping on her brain, "feel something, Rey," She whispered, "shut up, I have 21 days to get there."  The truck stopped by the side of the road.  Rey exchanged a nod from the driver, opened her door and got out.  She walked to the back of the truck and turned to face the back end.  She pulled her t-shirt off, then her sports bra, her flip-flops, shorts and underwear and finally, the scrunchie from her messy bun, tossing each thing into the pick up truck. She turned around and saw that the other truck had parked about 200 feet away.  A tall man with shoulder length black hair was walking around the side of the truck towards her.  The sun was in her eyes, so she couldn't make out the details of his face, but, she could tell he was big and white with the glare of the sun radiating off his skin.  He was naked too.<br/>
They walked towards each other.  Rey was looking at the side of the road.  Her mind was analyzing the soil and cataloging the plants she could see on the edge of the forest.  They both stopped walking and faced each other.  This was the part where the contestants usually gave an awkward hug as they greeted each other.  The man in front of her held out his hand. "Hi, I'm Ben," he said.  She shook his hand and smiled and said,"nice to meet you.  I'm Rey." Her inner monologue began at a furious pace cataloguing  and describing her partner, as if he was a newly discovered plant.  He was tall, well over 6 feet.  She could see the definition of his deltoids, pecs, biceps, ( she avoided looking further down his body,) he was strong.  He was pale so sunburns, heat stroke,and sunstroke could be a problem for him.  His hand was soft and not used regularly for manual labor.  She thought all these things in a split second and began to worry.  This guy better have some skills she thought, or he isn't going to make it.   They dropped hands.<br/>
"Nice to meet you too, Rey.  Our bags are there." He pointed to the edge of the forest.  Two canvas bags hung from a tree.  They each grabbed a bag and Ben immediately but his on and covered his sex. Rey did the same and then they shared what they brought.  Ben had brought a large hunting knife and the show gave him a pot with a cup and lid.  Rey had chosen a large bolt of twine and was given a fire starter and the map.  She opened it and turned so he could read it.  He put his finger on the map where they were.<br/>
"Looks like we walk from here through the forest till we get to this clearing.  Looks like a couple of miles".  Rey nodded and smiled, but in her head she had calculated the distance was 3 and a half miles.  She tried to not show her disappointment or rising anxiety. She put the map in her bag as they began their walk.  She was busy figuring out how long it would take to get to their base, afraid that they wouldn't have time to make a shelter before dark. She wanted to walk faster.  He was in front of her and as he walked she found that watching him took her mind away from her worries.  His legs were strong, the definition of his calves and hamstrings and especially his glutes were evident as they worked together to make him move forward.  His back was a work of art, wide shoulders that tapered to his waist.  She noticed he was being careful to not let branches he moved, whip back at her as he walked.  "Thoughtful" she put in the positive column of her catalog of him.<br/>
"So, what do you do for work?" She asked.<br/>
"I'm a stock broker. Or was until recently.  I quit."  He had turned to look at her as he spoke. His voice was so soft almost a whisper at the end and when he turned back around she could see the back of one of his ears poking through his hair was bright red. Alarms were screaming at her, he's a quitter.<br/>
"What do you do?"<br/>
"Well, I just graduated in the spring with a masters in Botany and I worked all summer at a garden center.  I've been struggling to find a good job in my field.".<br/>
He turned his head and nodded as he kept walking.<br/>
Rey tried to busy her mind with happy thoughts.  It was about 75 degrees, the sun was shining, she could make out the blue sky in flashes through  the canopy, the birds and bugs were singing.  It was a lovely day for a walk.  Two hours in Ben asked to look at the map again.  Ah, she thought, he's figured out he got the distance wrong.  With a smile she handed it to him and said, " I think we have about an hour and a half more of walking to do".  He took the map, looked at and nodded and handed it back to her.<br/>
"Where are you from? ", He asked her.<br/>
"Originally, Utah, but I've been living in Boston for the last 7 years. And you?"<br/>
"New York City". He said without turning around.<br/>
"I've never been.  Do you like it?"<br/>
"No, I fucking hate it" He grumbled.<br/>
"So, what made you want to be naked and alone?" She asked.<br/>
"I need to get away and thought an adventure might be good for me.  How about you?” He asked.<br/>
"Well, I'm in between jobs and enjoy a challenge, I guess.".  She said with a big smile.<br/>
He nodded and turned away.<br/>
"Do you have any survival experience?" She had to ask.  She was afraid her smile was not going to be able to hide her growing concerns that he was not going to be a good partner.<br/>
He kept walking and said, "not really, but I was a Marine for 6 years and before that I used to go camping with my dad.  He taught me how to fish and to set snares for rabbits and squirrels." He paused to look at her and must have seen the relief on her face.  He smiled a big smile that caused a wrinkle under his eyes and dimples in his cheeks and he nodded once and said, "is that better than a stock broker?"<br/>
Rey smiled back, "Yes, much better. You had me worried for a while."<br/>
"Don't get your hopes up too high.  I'm not really sure how useful I am." He said earnestly.<br/>
They walked in silence the rest of the way, stepping over fallen trees and avoiding brambles till they reached a clearing.</p>
<p>They each looked around and then turned to the other.<br/>
"Our priorities should be a shelter first then find water and build a fire." Ben said.<br/>
"Ok, what kind of shelter were you thinking? She asked.<br/>
"We could make a frame with sticks and then cover it with leafy branches.  What do you think?"<br/>
"That sounds good." She replied as she watched him walk into the middle of the meadow.<br/>
"Here?" He asked as he looked at her questioning.<br/>
"Well,” she said as she knelt down, "you see how the long grass is now flat to the ground and all going the same direction?  It looks like the wind comes through here and maybe we should be off to the side half in the woods and half in the meadow." He looked at the ground<br/>
"Um, yeah, I see what you're saying.  Good idea."<br/>
They worked together using sticks and twine to make a shelter that would accommodate his length.  When the frame was finished Rey found large leafed branches and wove them into the frame.  Ben stood back and said, "it looks good.  I'm going to get some water".  He grabbed the pot and took off for the other side of the meadow and vanished into the forest.  While he was gone Rey cleaned out the ground under the constructed canopy and began lining it with fistfuls of long dried grass. She pulled the grass up from where she imagined they would build a fire pit, and shook each tuft vigorously to free it of ticks and other bugs.  By the time he returned she had cleared a large space and had lined the whole shelter on her hands and knees.  He had returned with the pot full of water and placed it on the ground and was looking away from her when she looked up at him.<br/>
"Ah, you're back.  How was it?" She asked as she got up onto her feet.<br/>
"There's a stream, well, it's a brook really.  It's about 500 feet from here and down a small slope through the forest.  It looks clean but I didn't see any fish.  The edges are rocky so we need to be really careful." The sun was setting just behind his shoulders as he talked to her.  She studied his face for a moment and noticed the way his eyebrows and forehead had joined together to form a scowl.<br/>
"Also, it's buggy down there and I think I saw poison ivy."<br/>
Rey's brain added the new dangers to her list and began to think of all the remedies she could make to conquer them.<br/>
Ben turned to look at her, "I'm going to collect firewood."<br/>
"Okay", she said with a big smile. "I will too".<br/>
When they both returned they dumped their armfuls onto the ground.  As Ben brushed his hands off he said, "so, where's the best spot for the fire?"<br/>
Rey ran her hands over her burlap bag and said, "What would you do if we built a fire and it got out of control?<br/>
He let out a huff and put his hands on his hips. "Is this a test?" He asked with irritation in his voice.<br/>
"No, no , not at all.  I'm just worried. I...I have a fear of fire. Of it burning down the forest. Of being trapped." She looked at her feet and waited for his reply.<br/>
He cleared his throat and said softly, "we could dig a pit and line it with rocks to make it safer.  If it did get out of control I would smoother it with dirt.  I’ll make a big pile of dirt near the fire just in case."<br/>
She looked up at him and flashed a big smile.<br/>
"Sounds good.  We could dig it here I think.". She pointed to a spot about three feet away from the shelter on the bare patch of ground where she had cleared grass.<br/>
Ben quietly began to dig a hole with a rock and made a pile of dirt off to the side. Rey collected more sticks and kindling, setting it to the side. When they were done building, Rey started a fire on her first try, much to her relief.  The sun was much lower on the horizon and the temperature had dropped about ten degrees and the light was fading fast.  Ben put the pot of water on the fire with great difficulty.  The pot kept tipping and the lid slipping off.  He had to use two sticks to try to right the situation.  Rey watched his face as he concentrated. He didn't give up till the pot was perfectly nestled on top of the fire, then he sat back and ran his hand through his hair and took a deep breath and let it out slowly.<br/>
"Looks good, feels good too".  She said.<br/>
He just stared into the fire and nodded.<br/>
Rey picked up a stick and began to draw in the dirt, trying to occupy her mind to not focus on how quiet her partner was.  After the water boiled she dipped the metal cup into it and then blew on it and took a sip.  She stood up and offered it to him.<br/>
"Thank you" he whispered and drank. Taking turns they drank half of the water from the pot.  The sun had set and the fire was low when Ben stood up.  He stretched his arms to the sky and then said softly, "I'm tired, think I'll try to get some sleep."<br/>
Rey joined him a minute later.  He was laying on his side facing out with his burlap bag covering his butt and his top leg bent covering his groin.  She laid down the same way and tried to get comfortable.  She was a little bit cold but it was bearable because she could feel the heat radiating from her partner.  Her mind was busy listing all the things she needed to do tomorrow, all the plants she needed to look for and all the useful things she could find in the forest. She fell asleep eventually but was awoken in the middle of the night by Ben.  He was shaking and mumbling in his sleep.  She heard him say with a sob, "I should have been there.  I'm so sorry."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 2</p>
<p>Rey woke up.  She didn't move anything but her eyelids. From her perspective she could see the sun was rising and hear the birds and smell the bed of dried grass she was laying on. She knew right where she was because of the biggest clue, a long stretch of warmth up against her back.  Sometime in the night they had migrated towards each other and now their backs were pressed together.  Part of her brain began to freak out but the rational, educated part of her brain told it, once again, to shut up, everything's fine.  Rey crawled out of the shelter as quietly as she could. </p>
<p>She heard him move as she squatted by the entrance.  Without her warm back pressed against his, he had rolled into his back.  She didn't mean to look but couldn't help herself.  His chest was rising and falling gently as he breathed.  His feet pointed out leaving his sex completely exposed.  His penis laid nestled in a bed of black pubic hair and his scrotum hung gently between his legs.  She stood up and walked into the forest for a pee, trying to ignore her inner voice.  Rey decided to keep herself as busy as possible.</p>
<p>She grabbed the pot and walked to the stream, walking alongside the edge carefully to avoid sharp rocks.  After about 30 feet the stream opened up to a small pool.  Rey put the pot down on the rocks, slipped off her bag and entered the pool to see just how deep it was and to look for fish. The pool was about 8 feet wide and went up to her navel at the deepest point.  She knelt down and leaned her head back to dunk her hair.  It was cold, clear water and she felt grateful for it.  Looking down into the pool she saw a fish about the size of her foot.  She couldn't wait to tell Ben.  She looked towards the meadow wondering if he was still sleeping.  She remembered the pot resting level on the rocks and got an idea.  Getting out of water she grabbed the pot and filled it.  Then she put her bag back on and searched through the dry rocks on the bank of the stream till she found 7 that she liked.</p>
<p>Back at the shelter Ben was still sleeping.  She had a very quick look and found he had covered his sex with his hand like a blanket.  ‘Aw’ she thought, ‘he's kind of sweet looking when he's asleep. Focus Rey!’She began to clear away the debris from last night's fire and put her plan into motion.  She put four rocks in the center with space for logs and sticks to go in-between.  Then she fiddled with them till the pot sat level on top.  Next she took a sharp rock and dug a trench from the center of the pit to outside.  She lined it with the other three rocks and was then able to drag the pot from the center to just outside the fire pit.  She laid a new  fire but didn't light it.  She put the fire starter on the ground next to it in case Ben woke up and then she took off for the other side of the forest to forage. </p>
<p>Now Rey was in her element.  She had a list in mind of all the edibles this forest could hold.  After an hour she had a full bag of things they could eat.  She walked back with the sun shining through the trees and the damp grass of the meadow brushing her legs and feet.  Ben was still sleeping.  Rey looked around for something to do and went back to the stream to find a rock she could use as a work surface.  She found one that was sort of rectangular and had a dip in the middle.  She washed it thoroughly and carried it back  to their camp.  She put it down and sat next to it, then started the fire.  She put the pot on to boil and then emptied most of the contents of her bag onto her new kitchen rock.  </p>
<p>From the corner of her eye she noticed movement.  Ben was finally awake and up.  "Morning" he said as he rubbed his hands over his face.<br/>"Good morning partner" she said back with a big smile. <br/>"I'll be right back," he said as he turned to walk away from her.  <br/>She watched him walk to the edge of the forest, he seemed to be looking for something.  Then he began to pee, waving his urine back and forth over the low brush.  Then he stopped and walked some more and did it again. At first Rey was mortified, the dude has the entire forest to pee in and he does it right where she can see him and then he throws it all over the place?  Then it hits her.  He's marking the meadow as their territory to keep predators away.  Rey gives him another point in his good column right under Marine and  checks the water to give her eyes and hands something to do.  </p>
<p>"You've been busy.  How long have you been up?"  He asks as he sits down by the fire.  <br/>"Oh, about 2 hours.  The birds woke me up.  I can sleep through anything in the city but out in the wild the birds seem so loud in the morning."  She feels like she's talking too much.  He just nods. <br/>"Are you hungry? Of course, you're hungry.  We haven't eaten in 24 hours.”  She says,  slapping a hand to her forehead. Rey is mentally screaming to herself to calm the fuck down as she turns to find something to give him.  She starts with the mushrooms.  She hands him two small ones.<br/>"These are morels,” then she takes a different mushroom that's bigger than her hand and breaks it in two and gives him the bigger half.  She chomps into the big one and looks at him.  He's just sitting there watching her.<br/>"They're edible.  I swear you won't get sick."<br/>He begins to eat.  She checks the water again and notices it’s boiling, so she grabs a stick and slides the pot over towards her.  She picks up a different stick from her kitchen rock and bends it in several places, then picks the lid off with the other stick and throws the bent one into the pot.  <br/>"It's a birch stick.  Do you like root beer?" She asks.<br/>"Um, yeah.  I haven't had it since I was a kid.  My dad would sometimes make me a root beer float after I mowed the lawn."<br/>"That sounds like a nice memory." She smiles again at him. Rey’s inner voice is bullying her to stop smiling so much, he’s going to think she’s defective.  <br/>"I thought the birch might make the water taste more like tea." She says.<br/>He nods, "you didn't find any coffee beans then?" he asks with a straight face. He looks like he's watching her for a reaction.<br/>Rey gives him a full smile and even chuckles in relief that he's actually talking to her.<br/>She scoops out some water from the pot, blows on it, and then sips it. Then she hands it to him.<br/>"Here, have some hot stick water."<br/>"Thank you." He says and sips it. "Not bad. It's not that good, but it's not bad either."<br/>Rey laughs,"I saved the best for last,” and reaches into her bag and pulls out three plums and hands them to him. <br/>He takes them and just stares at them.<br/>"Plums?  You found plums out here?” <br/>"Yup" she says, proud of herself."Oh," she says with a mouthful of fruit, “I also saw a fish this morning"<br/>"In the stream?  How big was it?" He asks and then takes a big bite of a plum. <br/>She chews and then swallows and says, "it was about 6 inches long and I'm not sure what type of fish it was.  I found a small pool about 30 feet down stream."<br/>"These are really good," he says as he starts eating his second plum. "Want to show me the fish?"<br/>She looks at the fire and begins to move it around so it will go out.  It's not windy so she stands up and nods.<br/>When they come back from exploring the pond, Ben finds a stick and begins to sharpen the end to a point with his knife.  Rey sees him and makes her own plan.  She grabs her twine and begins to finger crochet a net. She weaves a stick through both sides and then hands it to him. <br/>"That'll work." He says as he tosses his spear and takes her net. "I'm going fishing.  See you later." </p>
<p>Rey is trying to decide if she’s offended that he obviously didn't want her to join him as she watches him walk away.  She looks back at their shelter, it’s gotten a little dilapidated already.  Rey decides to work instead of overthink.  By the time Ben comes back she has fortified the shelter with thick logs stacked at the back and on the sides and has recovered the roof with branches from an oak tree. Lastly she had covered the top completely with moss. </p>
<p>Ben admires the improved shelter and then he hands her a fish.  He looks angry or maybe upset but doesn't say anything. Rey takes the fish and says "wow, you did it!  What kind of fish is it?"<br/>"Trout" he says shortly, then he sits down, he looks miserable.  <br/>Rey takes the fish to her kitchen rock and lays it down. Ben has already taken the head off and gutted it.  Rey digs in her bag and pulls out wild garlic and grape leaves.  She pulls the long greens from the bulb and stuffs them inside the fish.  Then she wraps it in grape leaves and ties it up with a bit of twine.  She drinks some tea and then hands Ben the cup.<br/>"Thank you, " he whispers and drinks.  </p>
<p>Rey goes to get more water and she wants to grab a bunch of reeds and tall grasses she saw by the stream earlier.  She pulls some up and soaks them in the stream for a minute.  She can't help but think about Ben.  What's his deal?  Why is he so quiet and miserable?  It's going to be a long 21 days and maybe he won't make it?</p>
<p>Back at base Ben is cutting some twine from her spool.<br/>He looks at her, "I'm making a snare.  Two of them actually.  Maybe I can catch a rabbit or a squirrel." <br/>"That would be excellent.  I've never had either of those, are they good?" She asks as she sits next to him. </p>
<p>"Not really,” he says with a chuckle looking down at his work.</p>
<p>Rey busies herself flattening the wet reeds between two rocks and then stacking them to the side. Next she begins to weave them together into a mat that will fit inside the pot.  Her idea is to lay the fish on it and steam it till cooked.  </p>
<p>Ben gets up and goes to set his snares.  When he gets back, Rey has woven two mats for them to eat from.  She has more reeds but doesn't know what to do with them so she just plays with them.  Trying different weaving patterns and then taking them apart and trying something else.  Ben comes back and sits next to her.  She takes the lid off the pot and arranges the woven mat inside and puts the fish on top, then puts the lid back on and puts the pot back on the fire.  </p>
<p>"You're really good at this.  How did you learn all your survival skills?" He asks.  He's staring at her, waiting for an answer.<br/>"Well, I watched a lot of survival shows on TV and I YouTube tons of things." She can feel herself blushing, not from his question but from how he’s looking so intensely at her.  <br/>"Did you go camping as a kid?” <br/>"No, I didn't do much as a kid.” She says and tries to change the subject, "let's play a game." <br/>"A game?  What game did you have in mind?" He grumbles.<br/>"How about 20 questions?  You, know, so we can get to know each other better?” Please don’t say no she thinks!<br/>"Um, ok." He says.<br/>"Great!  I'll go first.  What's your favorite color?"<br/>"Red, I think." He says, "what's yours?"<br/>"Green and blue.  What's your favorite food?"<br/>"A really good steak with baked potato and salad" <br/>"Yum, that sounds good.  I would choose lasagna. You can ask next” she says.<br/>"Ok, what's your favorite thing to do on a date?"<br/>"My favorite thing to do is cancel the date and stay home with a pizza," She says with a grin. <br/>Ben laughs as she pulls the pot from the fire to check the fish.<br/>"So, you don't date?"<br/>"Not really.  I mean, I have, in the past and I just don't see the point.  It's so fake.  I would spend hours getting ready. You know, picking an outfit, curling my hair, putting on makeup.  By the time I was ready I didn't even recognize myself.  What we should really do on dates is show up our most hideous self and if the person can tolerate you then you’ve found a keeper!" <br/>Ben is smiling and chuckling and she really likes it.  The fish is done and she cuts it in two with his knife and scoops his half up with it and lays it on one of the mats she wove earlier.  She hands it to him and prepares her own, "My last date was kind of a disaster. My friend Rose set us up.  I didn't want to go but she talked me into it.  He was so suave.  Dripping in compliments. He said I had the most beautiful eyes in the whole galaxy." Rye rolled her eyes. "He kept coming up with excuses to touch me and he made me uncomfortable, but it was easy enough to sit and listen to him talk about himself that I made it to the end of the date.  Then he walked me home and was all like, ‘Ok baby now let's get to know each other better’.” Rey wiggled her eyebrows. <br/>"He actually said that?" Ben asks.  <br/>"Yup, and then he tried to kiss me but I wasn't having it and I turned my head so all he got was my cheek." Rey flashed Ben a smile and pointed to the spot on her face.  <br/>"Then what happened?" He asked. <br/>"Well, he wasn't very happy about it. I thanked him for dinner and ran for my apartment.  He never called me again after that but I heard from my friend that he said I was frigid." <br/>"What an asshole" Ben says. <br/>Rey shrugs."So, what do you like to do on dates?" She asks him looking down at her fish.<br/>"I don't know really.  I haven't been out there in a long time." He focuses on his fish.  "This is really good".  <br/>Rey smiles and nods with her mouth full. The fish is white and flakey on the inside.  Rey peels a grape leaf off and fills it with fish and puts the whole thing in her mouth.  He watches her and does it too.  It's a small meal, they could have easily eaten 4 fish the same size.  When they're done Rey hands him 2 more plums.<br/>"Ah, dessert." He says "Thank you."<br/>"You are welcome."<br/>"So, you must be a good cook at home."<br/>She laughs, "Hardly, I don't spend much time in my kitchen at home.  I have this horribly small studio and the kitchen is dismal. My stove top has only two rings and no proper oven.  I have a toaster oven and a microwave on the counter.  My fridge fits under the counter and has no freezer."<br/>"Wow, that is dismal.  I have a huge kitchen but I never use it really.  I order a lot of take out or just drink protein shakes." He begins to gather up the mats and the pot. "I'll go clean these up since you made dinner.” Ben goes off, back to the stream as Rey sits back and admires the sight of his backside and the setting sun.  “Down girl!” She says to herself.  </p>
<p>When Ben gets back he has a scowl on his face again. He is carrying everything in one hand and with the other he is scratching his back. Rey’s worry alarm goes off.</p>
<p>"What's wrong?" She says as she stands up.<br/>"Mosquitos feasted on me me" he says, putting the stuff down. She approaches him and he turns around.  He has more than dozen bright red welts across his back.  <br/>"Yup, they got you good.  I'll be right back.”  She runs into the forest and comes back a few minutes later with a hand full of mud.<br/>"Try not to scratch," she says seriously looking into his eyes. "It will only make it worse and you could get an infection." Rey walks around him and begins dotting the mud on his bites.  He stands still as she inspects and covers the welts all down his back.  She sees two on his buttocks and doesn't hesitate to cover them with mud. She has turned off her inner voice and remains focused on the job.  She walks around him and begins to inspect his arms and chest.  When her eyes finally rise up to meet his, she can tell even in the dwindling light that his face is bright crimson.   <br/>"That should help," she says quietly.<br/>"Thank you" he returns equally quiet.  <br/>She turns away and begins to put more wood in the fire and then replaces the pot of water to boil.<br/>They sit around the fire in silence until she can't take it anymore.<br/>"They like you more than me.  It has to do with your body's ph level. The mosquitos can smell it in our sweat." <br/>He is listening and nodding.  <br/>They drink more tea as the darkness deepens.  <br/>Rey is tired in body and mind.  She yawns and stretches and then stands up.<br/>"I'm going to go to bed now.  Can you put out the fire when you're ready?"<br/>"Yeah, sure.  I'll take care of it.” <br/>"Good night" she says and then disappears into the shelter.  She falls asleep quickly, laying on her side with her bag covering her bottom.  She doesn't wake up when he joins her to sleep.  She doesn't notice that he lays down and scoots back until their backs are pressed together.  Much later, when his nightmare hits and she hears him whimpering, she gently lays her hand on his thigh.  He stills and then puts his hand on top of hers and they fall back asleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 3</p>
<p>The partners formed an unspoken routine.  Rey woke up first and found breakfast and made tea. Later, Ben woke up and had breakfast and checked the snares.  By the end of the first week they had eaten three rabbits and one squirrel.  Ben had skinned the meat and stretched the hides onto frames made of sticks and twine. He hung them from a tree next to the shelter where they could dry.</p>
<p>By their seventh day they were feeling well fed and rested.  The only problem so far was that the mosquitos wouldn't leave Ben alone.  Ben had just returned from the stream to get water and from the looks of him he had had a dip in the pool.  His hair was swept back from his face and his skin was still wet. He came up to Rey with the pot in one hand and a mound of mud in the other.  He put the pot down and then held out his other hand.<br/>"Would you mind?" he asked and then turned around.<br/>"Oh, my." She said sadly but it came out much different in her inner voice.  She scooped the mud from his hand and got busy spreading it on his new welts.  He now had 5 bites on his bottom.  When she had just finished the last one she looked at the remaining mud in her hand and before she could think it through she slapped her hand on his butt, leaving a muddy hand print.  She let out a loud laugh. His normally stiff postured body jumped causing her to laugh even louder.  He turned around slowly, his eyes burrowing slits and just stared at her.  Rey held in her laugh as much as she could, eyebrows raised and lips closed tight.<br/>"I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have done that.  I just thought maybe more mud would help." She started laughing again holding her arms across her stomach.<br/>He smirked and ran his hand through his hair, he then looked back at her and gave her a wicked grin.<br/>"That's fine. I won't get angry, Rey. I'll get even."<br/>Her smile dropped from her face.<br/>"What?"<br/>"I'll wait till you least expect it and then I will get you back," he said wickedly.<br/>Oh boy, she thought, what have I done?<br/>Rey was a bit nervous after that, even though they were just having a bit of fun.</p>
<p>In-between their daily tasks for survival they continued their game of questions to fill in the time.  They learned that they both liked coffee but not coffee ice cream.  They both hated kale and thought it was completely overrated. As a child Ben had had a dog named Chewie and Rey currently had a house plant.  Rey was starting to notice subtle things about Ben.  He had so many tells on his face and body. She found that the more she was with him the more fascinating and attractive she found him.  Her internal sparing with herself continued, and new things were added to the list she kept in her mind.  In the negative column she had added that he seemed moody at times, that he was either shy or didn't always want to talk to her, and that he was bug bait.  In the positive column, he had trapped rabbits, he helped her do things around the base, and his large wide back was always warm against hers, when they slept.</p>
<p>All in all she felt it was going well.  Then on day eight Ben came back from checking the snares with a limp. He was carrying a freshly skinned rabbit.  She watched him come towards her and she immediately got concerned.<br/>"What's wrong?  Why are you limping?" She asked.<br/>He sat down and showed her his foot.  It was bleeding.<br/>"I stepped on a sharp rock," he said.  <br/>"Oh my God.  Let me clean it up." She ran and got the pot and brought it over to him.  She pulled his foot onto her lap and filled the cup with water and poured it over his foot.  The blood was washed away leaving his completely uninjured foot that was now jiggling on her lap as he laughed.  Her eyes snapped to his.<br/>"That's not funny," she said quietly as she removed his foot from her lap.  "Not funny at all." <br/>"Oh, come on Rey.  It's a bit funny.  You should have seen your face.  I told you I would get even," he said, as he smiled at her and then his smile dropped.  Rey had tears running down her face.  She picked up the pot and put it back on the fire and busied herself with lighting it. Ben came over and knelt down next to her.<br/>"I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to upset you.  I thought it would be funny."  <br/>"The last time I did this my partner quit because his feet hurt," she said.<br/>"You've done this before?  Where? When?" He asked. <br/>"About a year ago.  In Africa.  In the desert.  My partner tapped out after three days," she said, still not looking at him.<br/>"Was he injured?" Ben asked.<br/>"Not really.  His feet needed to toughen up and he hated the constant heat."<br/>"So, he just left you?"<br/>"Yeah, he left.  He said he was sorry and walked away.  But I stayed."</p>
<p>Ben sat down next to her.<br/>"Rey.  Rey, look at me." She turned her head to look at him. She noted how much his face had changed since they first met. His skin was tanned, his facial hair which was once just scruff had thickened to a short beard, and even though his hair was dirty it hung in gentle curls around his face. The overall effect was lovely.<br/>"Once a Marine, always a Marine. And Marines never leave a man behind.  I'm not leaving here till you are," he said with his head down so their eyes were level.  She believed him.  <br/>"That's good to know," she replied back.<br/>He tapped her side with his elbow, "So, are we friends again?"<br/>"Yeah, ok," she smiled and tapped him back.<br/>"So, what was Africa like?" He asked.<br/>"It was hot, dry, beautiful, and scary. I don't think the show will ever air my episode though," she said with a laugh.<br/>"Why's that?"<br/>"Because I wasn't very cooperative with the camera crew after my partner left.  Every time they tried to film me I would turn my back on them or give them the finger. It was petty but I was so angry.  They should have matched me with a better partner."<br/>"Yeah, you're right. It was irresponsible of them and completely unfair to you." He paused and then asked,"Tell me something good about Africa?"<br/>She thought for a moment, "One time I was just sitting, resting in some shade under a tree and when I looked behind me there were three giraffes.  Like, three huge giraffes had snuck up behind me. I was amazed that something that big could walk so quietly. They were about 20 feet away and I never heard them coming. We looked at each other in the eyes.  After a few minutes they turned and walked away. They were beautiful," she said with a smile. The rest of the night she retold some more of her adventures in Africa to Ben and he listened and asked questions as they laid on their backs in the shelter and eventually fell asleep.</p>
<p>The next day was grey and cloudy.  Rain was coming and it felt like they were in a race to get as much done as they could before it came. Extra firewood was gathered and stacked next to the shelter.  A new overhanging roof was made to keep the wood dry.  Fresh dry grass was picked to cushion the shelter floor.  Mushrooms and plums were gathered as well as the pelts and stored in the shelter.  Ben had the fire blazing.  A full pot of water had been boiled and two rabbits had been cooked and were cooling when the first drops of rain fell.  Rey ran into the forest for a quick pee and was only half wet with rain when she got back.  The fire was still going and she watched it spit and hiss in the rain as she sat in the shelter next to Ben.  They ate one of the rabbits and saved the other.  When Rey was done eating she laid down hoping to fall asleep while she was still warm.  The shelter held and kept them dry.  Rey was asleep when the thunder and lightning began.  Her subconscious heard it and wove it into her dream.  It twisted and pulled out old bad memories and stitched them into a new horror. Rey thrashed her limbs and tossed her head from side to side in her sleep as her mind ran through a dark forest desperately searching for her parents,then her friends, and lastly for Ben.<br/>She was awoken by two strong hands shaking her by the shoulders.  She blinked up at Ben.  His face was so close and full of concern. She gasped, her throat felt thick with anxiety and the screams she had let out only in her mind.  <br/>"Rey, are you ok?" He asked.<br/>"Yeah, just a bad dream," she whispered as tears fell from both eyes.  "Sorry,...Sorry I woke you."<br/>He released her and moved back to lay down.  <br/>The temperature had dropped and the perspiration that covered her body made her shiver. She moved on to her side to face him and she put her hand on his bicep, her forehead touching his shoulder.<br/>"Is this okay?" She asked softly.<br/>"Yeah, it's fine," he said. <br/>The thunder had moved further away and was just a soft grumble as they fell asleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 4</p>
<p>It was still cloudy and grey when they awoke the next morning.  Neither had moved in the night.  Rey let go of his arm and quickly went outside for a pee.  When she got back Ben was gone.  She began to lay out breakfast for them and he returned shortly after.  There was no point in trying to light a fire. Everything was wet and the fire pit was an actual puddle of ash and floating burnt sticks.  They sat in silence eating mushrooms and plums.  <br/>"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked when he was done eating.<br/>"No. Do you want to talk about your nightmares?" She shot back.<br/>"I...I, no I don't."<br/>"Then let's just drop it and move on."<br/>"Okay," he said.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After what seemed like a long time she asked,<br/>"What's the first thing you're going to do when we get out of here?"<br/>He thought about it for a minute and said,<br/>"Probably call my mom or have a long hot shower and then call her. But, maybe eat a real meal then shower and then call her.  How about you?"<br/>"Hot shower directly followed by a hot bath, then tons of food and then texts to some of my friends," she replied."What's your mom like?" She asked.<br/>"She's a very interesting person," he said with a smile, "I bet you would like each other.  She was a bit of a rebel in her youth." <br/>"Really, how so?" Rey asked.<br/>"Well, when she was in college she used to join lots of protests and she even got arrested once while protesting for women's rights because she was topless," he said grinning.<br/>Rey's eyes went wide with amazement. Ben chuckled,"She's so proud of it that she has her mug shot framed on the mantle."<br/>"You're kidding!"<br/>"Nope, it's all true.  I swear it."<br/>"What's your dad like?" She asked, wanting to keep the conversation going.<br/>His smile morphed into a deep sadness that she hadn't seen him express before.<br/>"He was a good guy.  We didn't always get along, but he tried to be a good father.  He died a little more than a year ago."<br/>She reached out and laid her hand on his arm.<br/>"I'm sorry Ben."<br/>"Thanks.  What's your family like?" He asked.<br/>"I don't really have any. But my best friend, Rose, is just the nicest person I've ever met and her boyfriend, Finn, is so funny.  You would like them for sure," she tried to skip the conversation along.<br/>"You don't have any family?" His full attention was focused on her so she couldn't escape the question. This was the part of her that she hated the most.  The sad story of poor Rey.  This was the point when she could tell him everything and watch his face fill with pity or she could brush it off and hide behind her wall.  She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  She was here to prove that she could do this. She looked him straight in the face and said,<br/>"My parents died when I was 5 and then I went and lived with my grandpa, but he's dead now too. So, nope.  No family," she fidgeted with her bag as she spoke.<br/>"That must have been rough as a kid," Ben said.<br/>"Actually, I don't remember them much.  They weren't very good parents.  They were drug addicts.  Heroin.  And my grandfather was a mean old bastard who was never around," she shrugged her shoulders and smiled.  <br/>"Don't do that Rey."<br/>"What?"<br/>"Don't smile over your pain and try to brush it off."<br/>She glances at him and he’s still focused on her face.  It makes her squirm uncomfortably where she sits.  It's as if he is the only one in the world who has ever really seen her.  It's the most naked she's ever felt. Her discomfort makes her angry.<br/>"Don't feel sorry for me.  I gave that asshole what he deserved," she snarls at him.<br/>"What did you do?" He asks quietly.<br/>She is so angry that words she has never told anyone before come rushing out, "I was seventeen when I overheard two of my grandfather's body guards talking.  I already knew he was a big time drug importer/exporter.  They said they felt bad for me because he was such a piece of shit.  They were afraid he was going to do the same thing to me that he did to my father.  That he would get me hooked on drugs too, or worse, teach me the business so I could take over after he retired. I was so angry.  All I could think about were all the things that drugs had stolen from me, that my own grandfather had stolen from me. I barged into his office and began to yell at him. He laughed at me and told me I was a useless, ungrateful girl.  Then he slapped me across the face and I...just snapped.  I punched him right in the nose.  He fell back hard and hit his head on his desk.  He fucking died right there," Rey said trembling with adrenaline.</p>
<p>He gave her space to calm down and then said<br/>"Sounds like it was really just an accident.  You were not responsible.  You were a child and he didn't take good care of you.  You deserved so much better than that, Rey." She slowly looked up to meet his gaze. <br/>"I killed him. The only family I had and I killed him," she sniffed. Ben nodded,<br/>"Sounds like he had it coming.  I'll never know if the people I killed deserved it or not. I just did what my commanding officers told me." She studied his face and was surprised to see no pity or fear in his expression.<br/>"You still want to be friends with me?"<br/>"Yeah, I do.  Actually, you are my only friend."<br/>"How can that be true?" She asked skeptically.<br/>It was his turn to feel uncomfortable and she could tell by his expression that he was.<br/>"I don't make friends easily.  I never have.  My dad was an airforce officer so we moved about every 2 years.  I just always kept to myself. My parents were both career people and busy with their own lives. Then I had a big growth spurt when I was a freshman in high school.  I was so awkward, you know like, all skinny limbs, acne and ears.  I got picked on and then I started getting into fights.  My parents didn't know what to do with me and I don't think they really wanted to waste their time on me at that point, so they shipped me off to boarding school.  An all boys prep school.  I just tried so hard to focus on my education and I started lifting weights.  Once I bulked up people left me alone."<br/>She was greedy for more of his story. <br/>"But, didn't you make friends in the Marines?" Rey asked <br/>"I tried at first.  I lost a friend during the war in Afghanistan.  I stopped trying after that."<br/>"That must have been horrible," she winced. "What about people you worked with?  You must have had one person there that you liked."<br/>Ben puffed air out from between his lips,"I didn't work with nice people.  We were all hand picked and groomed into our positions.  We were all competing against each other and under immense stress to make as much money as we could.  I worked 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, no vacations, no sick time, no half days for doctor appointments, no personal time off for funerals," he choked a bit on this last word.  She saw his eyes were glossy. He ran his hand through his hair and looked up towards the roof of the shelter. <br/>"Your boss was a monster," Rey whispered.<br/>"Yeah, he was, but I let him control my life.  I let him tell me what to do and then I did it. In the end it's my fault I fucked up my life."<br/>"You still have lots of time to fix it," she said hopefully.  <br/>"I don't know.  I have no idea what to do with the rest of my life.  Let me tell you the real reason why I'm here.  My mom suggested that I needed a vacation, like a small adventure to help me find myself.  I looked into it but all the packages were for couples or groups.  This was the only get away I found where I would be assigned a partner."  <br/>She smiled at him and replied,"The real reason I'm here is because my therapist said I need to work on my trust issues if I wanted to become a fully actualized adult. What even is a fully actualized adult?  Most of the people I know have at least one problem, except Rose, she's a perfect angel and I adore her. But, seriously everyone has issues."</p>
<p>They shared the cold rabbit meat and the rest of the plums for dinner.  They were emotionally exhausted from the day but continued talking after they laid down back to back.<br/>"I think I'm going to get a dog. A dog that will enjoy riding in the car and will obey commands," he said.<br/>"I always wanted a pet. What breed were you thinking of?"<br/>"Well, I will probably get a mutt from the pound but something that has lab or collie in it."<br/>"Nice, I hope I get to meet him one day."<br/>"Of course," he answered. </p>
<p>The rain had stopped and the sun had set.  They fell peacefully asleep and neither had any nightmares.  In the course of the night Rey had rolled over onto her side and had put her arm around him with her whole front pressed to his back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 5</p><p>When Rey woke up surprised to find that Ben had rolled into his stomach and that she was half laying on him.  Her arm was completely across his back and one knee resting on the back of his thigh, but the worst part was that her head was laying on his shoulder blade and she had drooled on him. As carefully as she could she seperated herself from him and exited the shelter.  The sun was shining and the birds were singing but all she could feel was the burn of her embarrassment and her internal dialogue was yelling at herself. ‘Fuck! Get it together Rey! Yes, he's a gorgeous man but he is not for you. You have to figure your own life out and so does he. This is not the time to have a crush. We have 10 more days and then we will each go our separate ways, back to our own lives!’ She finally tells herself to shut up and continues her morning routine.<br/>
He never mentions the wet spot or how she used him as a body pillow much to her relief.  They sit by the fire and eat their breakfast. Ben asks if he can use Rey's twine and she gives it to him. He thanks her and then goes off into the forest with the twine and the stack of pelts.  He's gone for over an hour leaving Rey bored.  When he comes back Rey has woven a basket from grape vines and has filled it with a few plums.  He hands her the twine and then sits next to her.<br/>
"Here, I thought you might like these for your cold feet," Ben says blushing and handing her something made from rabbit hides.  She examines the two roughly made slippers.  She slides her hand inside and it's warm and soft.<br/>
"Wow, thank you Ben. These are beautiful.  It would be a shame to stick my dirty feet in them." He gives her a big smile. The one with the dimples.<br/>
Even though the sun shone all day it was much colder and by the afternoon the wind had picked up. Rey found herself sitting closer to the fire. A bit later, after moving into the shelter, she brushed off her feet and put her slippers on and laid down.  She was still cold.  Ben scooted his back against her.<br/>
"I can feel your goosebumps. You ok?" He said.<br/>
"Yup, I'm sure I'll warm up in a minute," she replied. But after a few minutes she was still shivering. Ben rolled over, repositioned his bag and then told her to lift her head up as he slid his arm under it. Then he put his other arm around her and held her tight against his chest with a close fisted hand.<br/>
"Is this better?" He whispered into her hair. It was better.  So much better.  How had she ever slept without this?  Without him?<br/>
"Yes, thank you," she whispered back. The next three days and nights were chilly but Ben held her close each night so she could be warm and sleep.  It was wonderful but also scary.  How would she sleep alone when she got home?</p><p>On the morning of the fourteenth day Rey became worried.  They had eaten all the plums and the cold weather had brought autumnal changes.  All the mushrooms had withered up and the leaves had all dropped off the grape vines.  She sat down in the forest and felt defeated. Then she heard a rustling some feet away and looked for the source.  She crawled as quietly as she could behind some scrubby trees.  A short distance away she could see a patch of grey fur low to the ground.  She moved her head so she could see better and was amazed.  There was a large racoon and three smaller ones, a family.  They were all eating something on the ground.  They were so cute she just watched for a bit before noticing they weren't alone.  The racoons had been joined by a family of opossums.  The two groups seemed to be cordially ignoring each other as they feasted on something under the tree. Rey tried to see what they were eating but it was difficult from where she was hiding.  She sat patiently and then one of the racoons climbed the tree.  That's when she saw the bees swarming around the masked bandit, but that didn't stop it from entering the hole in the tree and then coming back out with a chunk of beehive in it’s mouth.  The raccoon scrambled down the tree back to it’s young and they helped to tear apart the chunk of honeycomb.  It was fascinating to watch and she noticed that all the furry creatures were eating the bees as well as the beehive pieces.  The racoons were licking their paws and each other's faces and the opossums seemed content to snatch up the scraps and the bees.  Rey got an idea.  An idea that would require the assistance of a tall, strong man.<br/>
She returned back to base and crawled into the shelter to wake up Ben.  He was laying on his stomach with his head on his arm.  ‘God, he was pretty,’ she thought as she studied his sleeping face.  He had a black wave of hair covering his right eye.  She swept it back with a fingertip so she could see him better.  Then she came back to her senses and grabbed his arm and shook him.<br/>
"Ben, wake up.  You have to see what I found," she exclaimed.<br/>
He opened his eyes.<br/>
"What? What's happening?  You okay?" He said in a gruff sleepy voice.<br/>
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just was in the forest and you have got to see what I found."<br/>
"Is it a Starbucks?"<br/>
"No," she laughed, “just come see".<br/>
They exited the shelter and began to walk towards the forest.<br/>
"Just a minute, gotta pee," he said and he walked a few feet away to take care of business.  Rey was having internal debates about watching him but decided to turn the other way in the end. They continued to walk until Rey motioned for them to get down and crawl to her previous spot.  She pointed to the area under the tree, about 15 feet away. Ben followed the path of her finger and began to smile and nod.<br/>
"What are they eating?" He mouthed.<br/>
"Honey," she mouthed back and then gave him a huge smile and wiggled her eyebrows at him.  He looked back at the scene and she could tell he was calculating something by the expression on his face.<br/>
He signalled her to come closer and cupped his hand to her head and whispered in her ear, "What about the bees?"<br/>
She signalled for him to follow her back the way they came.  Once back in the meadow she turned towards him.<br/>
"Okay, I want some honey.  What do you think?  How can we get it?  We need a plan."<br/>
"Woah, slow down there. This could be dangerous.  Are you allergic to bees?" Ben asked.<br/>
"No. Are you?" Rey asked him back.<br/>
"No I'm not.  Are you sure you're not?"<br/>
"Yes, I'm sure.  I've been stung many times and didn't have any problems. Are you going to help me or not?" She asked, with her hands on her hips staring up at him.<br/>
Ben looked away from her rubbing his hand over his beard.<br/>
"Yeah, okay," he replied.<br/>
Rey clapped her hands and jumped up and down with glee while Ben just looked at her and shook his head and grinned.  She started the fire and put the pot on to boil while they developed a plan.<br/>
They decided to wait a few hours to give the animals a chance to eat as many bees as they could.  Rey gathered many large green leaves and stored them in her bag then she tied her hair up into a ponytail with some twine. She felt ready for combat.  They needed this honey to make it through the coming week. Ben didn't seem as eager as she was. He was daydreaming, sitting resting back on  his arms with his legs out straight and his ankles crossed.  She glanced over to him.  He looked so big stretched out like that but the expression on his face was that of a lost little boy.<br/>
"Hey, you ready?" She asked as she gently nudged his foot with her own.<br/>
"Yup," he replied and stood up.<br/>
They went back to the spot.  The racoons were gone but the opossums were still there rooting around in the dirt, looking for missed bites.  They scurried away as Rey and Ben approached. They walked up to the tree slowly, looking for angry bees. The hole in the tree was higher than Ben could reach.  He looked all around for a log that he could move and stand on.  Rey was impatient and blurted out,"Oh for heaven's sake! Just lift me up and I'll do it." Ben looked her up and down and then looked at the hole in the tree.<br/>
"Yeah, all right then.  Let's do this." He walked up to the tree where she was,bent down and grabbed her around her knees, lifting her up. He kept his face turned away from her body.<br/>
Rey grabbed the tree with both arms and looked into the hole.<br/>
"Perfect" she said to him "just don't drop me."<br/>
"I won't," he chuckled.<br/>
Rey stuck one arm into the tree and began to feel around.<br/>
"Oh my God, there is so much honey. It's a big gooey mess.  I just need to find the edge of the honeycomb.  I've almost got it."<br/>
Ben's grip on her tightened and he spoke as calmly and as quietly as he could,<br/>
"Rey, we need to leave right now."<br/>
"What?  I've almost got it. Give me a minute."<br/>
"No Rey. Now. There's a skunk four feet away," he said urgently.<br/>
And then a few things happened at once. Rey finally pulled a chunk of comb away from the hive just as a bee sting her in the armpit, causing her to let out a loud,"Ouch!" This, in turn startled Ben and caused him to lose his balance and he stepped back to catch himself. Ben's movement alerted the skunk which stomped it's paws at them.  Ben quickly turned away from the skunk and put Rey's feet back to the ground.  This caused the skunk to turn it's back on Ben and spray. Rey was just adjusting to having her feet on the ground when she smelled it.<br/>
"Oh my God! Run!" she yelled as she grabbed his hand.  They didn't stop until they were in the meadow.  They were both winded, red in the face and sweaty.  They looked at each other and both broke out laughing hysterically.  Rey had honey from her shoulder all the way down to the clump of honeycomb she still held in her hand.  Bits of leaves and debris were stuck in it.  But worse than that was how bad Ben smelled.<br/>
"I hope you know how to get this smell off of me," he said, gagging a little when he could finally talk again. Still laughing she walked around him holding her honey coated arm away from her body.  She could see the orange musk oil splattered all over his back side.<br/>
"I need to put the honey comb away first then I'll help you," Rey said, pinching her nose with her clean hand.<br/>
"Can I see it?" Ben asked.<br/>
She held it out to him. The piece was twice the size of her hand and it was dripping honey down her arm.<br/>
"Try it." She brought her honey soaked hand up towards his mouth.<br/>
Rey watched as he leaned down and took a small bite from where it was dripping. With a drop of honey on his full bottom lip, he says, "It's so sweet. It's good. Do I swallow the wax?"<br/>
"Yup, it's all edible," she said as she stared at his mouth. She turned away from him and walked towards their camp. His mouth. The image of him eating from her hand had elicited a physical response in her that she was not used to. She found all the leaves she had stored in her bag and took them out and began to wrap them around the honeycomb.  Then she put it down on her kitchen rock.<br/>
"Let me wipe off some of the skunk musk with grass". She said as she grabbed a handful of dried grass.  She wiped off all that she could see but the smell did not weaken.<br/>
"Okay, we need to find Pteridium aquilinum or, eagle fern, and I need to wash off this honey.  Can you grab the pot? " She said to Ben who stood at the edge of their camp.<br/>
He grabbed the pot. And off they went to the other side of the forest towards the brook.  Rey squatted down and washed off her arm. The water had risen from the rains and the fish that had been trapped in the pool had swam down stream. She looked for the fern that could make a soapy water mixture to help wash the musk off Ben. When they found the fern they dug up a bunch of them to get the roots.  Rey washed them in the stream and Ben filled the pot. They walked to the pool and Rey put the roots into the pot.  She squeezed them and stirred them in the water until the rhizomes released the saponins that made a soapy texture.  Ben sat on a rock next to her and watched.  She signalled to him to turn around and he did.  She cupped her hand and brought the mixture up to his shoulders and began to wash his back with it.  She repeated this many times up and down his back. She could feel every muscle.  He felt warm and solid.  She watched her hand as it smoothed over his skin, thinking about how nice it would be to touch his chest, his arms, his everything.<br/>
"I think it got in my hair," he said.<br/>
"Oh, right.  I'll wash it, sit down" she said while trying not to combust on the spot.  Ben sat with his back to her and Rey combed her fingers down the back of his hair,she scooped some of the mixture up and pulled it through his locks. She rubbed it into his hair, smoothing it away from his upturned face.  When she was done he stood up still turned away from her and took some of the mixture and rubbed it up and down the backs of his legs and his butt.  Then he waded into the middle of the pool to rinse off. Rey was sitting on a rock on the edge and began to examine her bee sting.<br/>
"Did you get stung?" He asked.<br/>
"Yeah, I did.  Just a few though.  It was totally worth it," she grinned at him.<br/>
He walked through the water towards her.  "Come here.  Let me look and see if the stinger is still in."<br/>
She took off her bag and lowered herself into the water so Ben could make use of the light to see her armpit.  He gently grasped her upper arm with one hand and ran his fingers softly across the red lump. He brought a handful of water to her pit and washed it.<br/>
"Honey," he said.<br/>
"Yes Dear?" she replied with a grin.  He laughed. At first Rey was embarrassed because of the current condition of her unwashed, hairy armpit but she looked at him as they both knelt in the water and she knew he didn't care. He was so careful, so engrossed in his task and he was so close to her.  She could feel his breath on her wet skin.  His hands looked so big on her body.  She couldn't look away.  Then she felt a scrape and the stinger was out.  He showed her the tiny menace on the tip of his finger.  And then time stilled. A moment of a second that lasted an eternity. She saw a drop of water fall from his hair, the sunbeam reflecting off the water into his eyes, his hand still holding her arm that he had gently lowered and his expression changed from happy to wonder. She watched as his eyes traveled all over her face and he swallowed, causing his Adams apple to bob.  She didn't want it to end but they couldn't stay there trapped in that moment forever.<br/>
"Thank you," she whispered.<br/>
"Oh, um,yeah, you're welcome," he said as he released her arm and took a step back. </p><p>They quietly collected their things and went back to camp.  The whole way back through the forest Rey was arguing internally with herself, ‘Did he almost kiss me? No, of course not, you twit.  Did I want him too? Yes. No, definitely not...But maybe yes. His lips looked lush and ripe for kissing. Shut up!’ she said to herself.</p><p>Ben put the pot down and said, "I'm going to check the snares," and off he went. Rey went scavenging for plants they could eat.  She came back with dandelion leaves, ramps, and a few other greens that could make  a sad sort of salad.  Back at the shelter she started the fire and boiled water for drinking.  Ben came back much later empty handed.<br/>
"The snares were empty. I moved them so hopefully we will have better luck tomorrow," Ben said.  He looked angry or maybe he was just disappointed and hungry, Rey thought. She put a bunch of greens on his mat and cut a piece of honeycomb and laid it on top and handed it to him.<br/>
"Thanks, you always manage to find something," he said<br/>
Rey fixed her own serving and Ben watched as she wrapped various leaves around the honeycomb and took a big bite. He copied her technique and began to eat.<br/>
"Needs ranch dressing," Rey said.<br/>
"Mmm," Ben grumbled, "and steak and a baked potato with a stick of butter on it."<br/>
Rey laughed and continued to eat.  Slowly the awkwardness from earlier was fading.  Something had changed though. Rey found herself unable to look at his face without feeling a nervous tension in her stomach. She began to focus on his hands when he talked, but that became a problem too, because his hands look big and strong.<br/>
After the sun went down Rey crawled into the shelter and curled into a tight ball on her side and tried to fall asleep.  Ben sat by the fire for what seemed like hours as Rey replayed what happened that day over and over in her mind.  She was just falling asleep when Ben crawled into the shelter and laid beside her.  She felt his back, warm and strong behind her and felt safe.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 6</p><p>Each day the forest becomes a bit more bare as leaves turn colors and fall.  The temperature is comfortable during the day but it is gradually getting colder at night.  On day 14 Rey wakes up shivering even though Ben has one arm around her and three small rabbit hides sewn together to make a very small blanket covers them. She gets up, pees and then gets water.  Her shivering is so much that she can barely light the fire.  It takes a huge effort and fills her with such desperation that she is almost crying when it finally lights.  She loads fuel onto the fire and sits as close as she can to warm up. She boils the water and doesn't leave to go forreging, choosing to stay close to the fire and it’s heat over food. When Ben gets up he finds Rey sitting and drinking hot water.<br/>"Morning," he says as he walks past her into the forest for his morning pee.  <br/>"I hate the cold,"she says to him when he returns.<br/>"All your body fat is gone. I need to catch something good today. We need the protein," Ben says.  <br/>"I want hot chocolate and a fluffy blanket," Rey grumbles as she sips hot water and then hands the cup to Ben. He finishes it and refills the cup and hands it back to her. <br/>"I'll go check the snares," he says as he gets up and leaves her there. She's cold, tired, dirty and hungry and if she is really honest with herself, just a bit sexually frustrated too.  It's so many things at once that it's overwhelming. Then she hears the startling sound of Ben retching. She runs towards the sound shouting his name.<br/>"I'm all right,*retch*, stay where you are,*retch*.  He groans.<br/>She stops in her tracks because she can see him 10 feet away and she can smell something putrid. She can see he has his left hand over his nose and mouth and his knife in his right hand, ready to bring it down on something.  <br/>"I'm almost done *gag* go back *retch*," he says.<br/>Rey walks to the edge of the meadow and waits for him.  He walks towards her with his arm stretched out holding something and his hand still covering half his face.  She backs away because whatever he is holding smells so bad.  He runs across the meadow and disappears into the forest towards the stream.  He comes back with a smile on his face holding a wet pelt.<br/>"What is it?" Rey asks.<br/>"A coyote," he shows her as he sits down to construct a stretching frame. <br/>"Maybe I'll make you a dress out if it?" He smirks.<br/>Rey huffs, "The last time I wore a dress was eons ago on that disaster of a date I told you about."<br/>"How long ago was it exactly?" He asked while he worked.<br/>"Um, about a year and a half ago," Rey replied.<br/>"That's a long time.  No dates since then?" He asks, not looking at her.<br/>"No, not really," she says.<br/>"Ah, hook ups then," he said like he was answering his own question.<br/>"No! Not that it's any of your business but, no. I'm not into that.  I mean, it's fine for people to, you know, whatever, but it's not for me." She spews out while blushing.<br/>"So, you don't date. You don't hook up? Don't you want to meet someone?" Ben asks staring at her <br/>"God, what are you my therapist now? Yes, I want to meet someone.  It's just that I know what I want and none of the guys I've met want the same thing." <br/>"And what's that?" He asks.<br/>She pauses and looks at him, debating whether or not to tell him the truth.<br/>"Just tell me," he says.<br/>"Okay, I want marriage and children," she says with her head up.<br/>"And you tell that to guys on the first date?" He smirks at her.<br/>"Only if they ask. I don't see the point of wasting time on a man who isn't interested in having a family and I want to have kids while I'm still young enough to play with them," she explains.  Rey watches his face and notices his expression change from mirth to thoughtfulness.<br/>"How old are you?" Ben asks.<br/>"I'm 24," she answers.<br/>He looks up at her, "You’re a smart woman and you should go after what you want with no compromises.  I'm sure you will be an excellent wife and mother."<br/>"Really?" she asks.<br/>"Yeah, I think you would be excellent at anything you put your mind to do," he says softly.<br/>It's one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to her.<br/>"Thank you," she says, smiling back at him. <br/>"I wish I had your confidence about my future. I'm 30 years old and I have no idea what I want," Ben says sadly.<br/>"That's not true. You're getting out of the city and getting a dog, remember? You're moving forward. I have complete confidence that you're gonna figure it all out,"<br/>"Yeah? What makes you say that?" He asks.<br/>"I just have a solid,strong feeling about it," Rey says.</p><p>Ben finishes stretching the pelt and goes to check his other snares. He's gone well over an hour and Rey is worried about him, but he comes back with a rabbit so she let's it go.  She's too hungry to start an inquisition.  Together they cook the meat and then eat it savoring every bite.  <br/>After they eat Rey takes out the map to start planning their exit route. They have the choice of following the river which snakes around and looks like about 6 miles or they can go through the forest and over what looks like a small mountain range and is around 3 miles. She can't decide which is better.  She shows Ben the map and their two choices.<br/>He comes up with a third route that would have them cross the river midway and then go over the lowest point of the mountain. They agree on the route and plan to leave in 6 days.  Rey thought that planning their exit would make her feel excited to get back to civilization and real food but, it has left her melancholy. They only have a short time left together.  </p><p>They spend the rest of the day collecting firewood and fetching water.  Ben checks the snares again because they are both still hungry, but comes back empty handed. The hunger leaves Rey feeling fatigued so at sunset she lays down and falls asleep. She wakes in the middle of the night not sure if she heard something or if it was just a dream. Ben is sleeping behind her with his arm around her waist. She can feel his breath on the back of her head and his knees on the backs of her thighs.  She lays her hand over his and slowly scoots her back up against his front.  He hums in his sleep and pulls her in tighter.  Rey fights going back asleep while she tries to memorize how good it feels to be held this close by someone she cares about but, sleep wins.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 7<br/>
The next several days are cold.<br/>
Rey sits by the fire with her arms wrapped around her legs and her head resting on a knee, lost in thought.  She feels cold and empty.  It's a good description of her whole life.  </p><p>She thinks back to her childhood, remembering how no one ever cared if she had a balanced diet, or clean clothes for school, or tucked her in at night. How her grandfather's house always had staff that ignored her and he was never around. She remembers the day she killed him and the stunned face of his bodyguard as he rummaged for car keys and money in her grandfather's desk. He gave them to her and told her to go and to never come back, and that he would take care of everything. She remembers how afraid she was when she finally drove into Boston, constantly watching her back for some sign that she was being followed. Rey thinks about how easy it was to find a chop shop for the stolen Mercedes.  </p><p>She recounts getting her first job, meeting Rose, and moving in with her. God, she misses those days. It took a while to get used to Rose's easy affection and generosity. Rose always made a full pot of coffee, and shared whatever she had.  She would think nothing of reaching over to fix Rey's coller or tuck in the tag at the back of her neck.  Movie night with Rose always meant sharing a blanket on the futon and holding hands during the good parts. </p><p>Rey remembers the day Rose moved in with Finn, how they each had shed a few tears and hugged, and how Finn had looked at Rose.  He looked at her like she had saved his life or something. Rey wants that, for a man to look at her like she was his whole world.  Maybe Rose was right about dating? Maybe Rey needs to loosen up and try a few men on for size and see if they fit first and then fall in love later. </p><p>Just then she hears Ben crawl out from the shelter.  He stretches his arms up in the air, yawns, and then nods to her.  His dirty hair is sticking up in places. It's adorable. She watches him go into the forest to relieve himself and remembers when she first met him, how quiet he was.  She knows him well enough now to realize that he had been nervous and unsure about himself. And not actually rude or standoffish. </p><p>When he gets back he sits by the fire, drinks some water and then gets to work on the coyote pelt.  He unties it from the frame, examines it and cuts off some of the rough, uneven edges where the legs and tail were.  He uses a rock to rub the stiff skin side of the pelt, to soften and relax it. Rey watches his big hands work. She watches how he runs his fingers over every inch of it, feeling for rough spots he might have missed.  When he's satisfied with it he stands up and walks over to her and drapes it over her shoulders.  It covers her whole back.  </p><p>"Thank you," she says,"it's warm."<br/>
He hands her some twine that he has untied from the frame and says, "you could use this to hold it in place."<br/>
Rey doesn't know what to say.  She had been so lost in her memories with her body curled up tight and stiff from the cold, that the warm fur around her feels surreal.</p><p>"Hey, you okay?" Ben asks, looking worried.</p><p>"Yeah," she replies.</p><p>He puts his hand around her upper arm, "Stand up for a minute.  Let me fix this for you," he says.  She stands up in front of him and hands him back the twine.  Rey watches as he takes three pieces of the twine, matches up the ends and runs them together through his fingers.  He brings the ends up to her shoulder and finds the hole he made with his knife when he stretched the hide on the frame.  He threads the twine through the hole and ties a knot. Then he takes the other end of the twine and does the same to a hole in the pelt near her opposite hip with the twine crossing over the strap of her bag. He steps back to look at his work and smiles.<br/>
"You look like a proper cave woman now," Ben says.</p><p>She reaches out for his hand and grabs it, "thank you," she whispers and gives him a smile in return.  Ben gently squeezes her hand in reply.  </p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>They have nothing to eat.  Rey is waiting for the sun to raise higher in the sky with the hope that it will warm up in the afternoon.  She feels like a plant desperate for the sun so she can photosynthesize.  She keeps the fire going and sips warm water as Ben collects firewood and checks his snares.  She looks at her hands and notices how dirty she is after a week of avoiding washing in the cold pool.  At noon the sun finally breaks through the clouds and warms up the meadow a few degrees.  It's enough to get her moving.  She searches the forest for anything they can eat.  The animals have eaten the rest of the honeycomb in the tree, and all of the rotten plums that had littered the ground are now gone. She finds a log on the forest floor and clears some leaf debris from it and sees two very small mushrooms sprouting up.  They are too small to be even half a mouthful. As she considers covering them back up and eating them tomorrow she notices something slither under the log.  Rey grabs a rock and swiftly rolls the log back to reveal a snake and brings her rock down hard on its head.  </p><p>She didn't even need to think about it.  A shiver runs down her spine when she lifts the rock and sees what she has done.  ‘It's fine’ she thinks to herself ‘I'm a survivor.’  She grabs the dead snake and continues looking for things to eat as she slowly makes her way back to camp.  Ben is standing by the fire when he sees her emerge from the forest into the meadow holding the snake in one hand and a bunch of greens in the other. He drops an armload of firewood into a pile and stares at her as she walks into the sunlight towards him. She feels powerful under his gaze. She holds out her hand with the snake in it and says, "Look what I found," and flashes him a big smile.<br/>
"Good job. Let's eat it," he says smiling back at her.  He takes the 18 inch snake from her and guts and skins it before wrapping it around a stick to cook over the fire.  She sits next to him and hands him some greens to eat. Together they munch on the leaves, never taking their eyes off the cooking snake. When the outside looks darkened and crispy, Ben removes it from the fire and uses his knife to cut it in two, and hands her a piece. It's too hot to hold but not too hot to eat. Rey nibbles on bites as the meat cools on one of the woven mats.</p><p>"This is delicious," Ben says, "it really does taste like chicken." Rey nods and continues to eat, too hungry to stop.  </p><p>When they are done eating and have drunk the last of the water, Rey decides she is warm enough to wash herself up.  She takes the pot to the stream and follows it to the pool.  She fills the pot and puts it aside and takes off her hide and her bag and wades carefully into the chill water.  It's numbingly cold and makes her shiver as she scrubs her body and face.  When she’s done,  she climbs out onto a large flat rock and lays on her back in the sun to dry.  After about ten minutes she rolls onto her stomach and continues to sunbathe.  When the sun begins to move away and leave her in the shadows, she grabs her things and returns to camp.  Ben has collected enough firewood for the night so they spend the remaining daylight sitting by the fire.  Rey grabs a stick and makes a hashtag in the dirt. "Want to play tic tac toe?" She asks as she puts an x in a corner and hands him her stick.  He takes it and puts an o in the center, "no one ever wins," he says softly as he passes the stick back to her.  They continue back and forth until the spots are all full and  no one wins.  Ben takes the stick and begins to write in graceful cursive, “To the victor goes the spoils.”  Rey reads it out loud.<br/>
"You have nice handwriting," she tells him.  "Thanks," he replies as he continues to write words with the stick.  He wipes them away with his foot and then writes her name with scrolling loops and flourishes that looks beautiful.  She smiles at him.  It's their last night together at this camp. It feels like the sun is setting faster than normal, like the more she wants time to slow down, the faster it goes.  She wonders if he feels it too. </p><p>Ben gets up, "it's getting late," he says as he makes his way over to the shelter.  Rey follows him.  He's laying on his back with his bag over his sex. Rey crawls in next to him and lays on her side facing him. He turns his head to look at her.<br/>
"You've been very quiet today," he says to her.<br/>
"Sorry," Rey says, "I've been thinking a lot about my life, about what I should do when I get back to Boston.”<br/>
"Come to any conclusions?" Ben asks.<br/>
"No, but I don't want to think about it anymore.  I have plenty of time to figure it out when I get home," she says.  She scoots closer to him and rests her forehead on his shoulder.  He moves his arm to put it around her and she moves to put her head on his chest with her closed fist resting on his stomach.  She can see his face, his eyes closed and his mouth relaxed.  She snuggles in closer to him and his other arm reaches up for her, holding on to her upper arm.  She can feel herself falling asleep, falling into him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 8</p>
<p>Rey wakes up with her face still against Ben's chest. Her arm is around his abdomen, her knee resting on top of his thigh, and her entire front pressed tight against him as he sleeps on his back.  She has the urge to rub up against him. To scratch an itch she has never shared with any one before. In her mind, Rey begins to list all the reasons why it's a bad idea to hump her partner, all while she remains totally still. Ben wakes up just as she's telling herself to breath like she's still asleep. She wants to know what his reaction is to their current position. </p>
<p>Rey can feel him take a deep breath and let it out slowly, and lift his head to look down at their bodies and then lower it again. She feels his hand lift off her arm and move to center his bag over his groin. He lifts his head again to look down his body, she hears and feels his breathing speed up. Ben gently rolls her onto her back and he quietly exits the shelter. Rey rolls back onto her stomach seeking the warmth his body left behind.  After 19 days of sleeping in the same spot she can smell him on their dried grass bedding. She wonders if she could take some of the dried grass from where his head had laid home with her. She finds one long black hair by her face and she twines it around her finger before putting it in her bag.</p>
<p>When she gets up she sees that the pot and Ben are gone. She starts the fire and waits. He comes back to camp about an hour later with his body and hair wet and glistening in the morning sun. He looks good, healthy, strong and lean. She can tell he's lost weight but his face still looks full because of the dark beard and mustache that have grown in. Rey catches herself staring at him and has to look away.  She looks down at herself and thinks, 'I'm skin and bones with tiny breasts. He could never want this. Stupid girl.  Get it together.' She takes a deep breath and looks up at him and says with a smile, "Hey partner." </p>
<p>"Hey, the snares are empty," he says looking ashamed.  </p>
<p>"I think we've eaten everything here and it's time to move on," Rey says to him. </p>
<p>"Yeah, let's look at the map again," Ben says.  </p>
<p>Rey digs in her bag and pulls out the map and hands it to him. He looks at it and chuckles, "It's a really shitty map. Looks like a fifth grader drew it. There's no indication of elevation on it. This could be a hill or it could be a mountain," he says as he points to a row of bumps drawn crudely on the map. Rey nods in agreement while she scoops up water from the pot and  sips it.  She hands the cup to him and takes the map. It really does look like a child drew it. </p>
<p> "If we’re leaving let's hydrate and get going," Rey says. They take turns drinking all of the water in the pot.  Rey packs up her few things into her bag and takes one last look at their shelter.  It's not much to look at but it felt more like a home for the past 20 days than her studio apartment ever did. <br/>"You ready?" Ben asks.  She smiles at him and replies, "Yup, let's go," and she follows him towards the stream. They cross the stream and continue walking through the forest.  At first the ground is covered with fallen leaves and moss but after an hour the undergrowth becomes dense. They have to step and sometimes climb over fallen trees and branches. Thick brush and thorny brambles catch and snag at their skin. By noon the temperature is in the high 70's and it's gotten humid. The dense forest has slowed their pace down to a crawl at times, and Rey is not sure how far they have walked. Then the forest floor starts to become more rocky and the trees thin out to meet a high rocky mountain ridge that looks like it goes straight up. From where they are they can't tell how high it goes.  Ben stands with his hands on his hips and looks up at it.  "We can't climb this," he runs a hand through his hair and looks at Rey. </p>
<p>"You're right, let's follow it along till we reach the river," she says. They have to go back into the dense forest to avoid the sharp rocks that litter the ground near the base of the cliff. The temperature is now in the 80's and stiflingly humid. After about 20 minutes the ground begins to feel wet. Their feet squish as they walk. Rey notices gnats and midges are now flying around her head. Gradually the ground gets wetter and after a few more steps she is up to her ankles in dark, brackish water. Looking up ahead it appears to be just a large puddle or shallow pond.  Ben turns to her, "Should we keep going this way?" he asks.  </p>
<p>"Yeah, it doesn't look so bad.  The trees are alive and healthy looking.  It's not like a swamp.  I think it's just a very large puddle," Rey says.  </p>
<p>Ben nods and starts to walk again. The water keeps rising. It's up to Ben's knees and to Rey's thighs.  Ben is now being attacked by gnats, mosquitos, and horse flies. He’s waving his arms around his head trying to shoo them away. They go after Rey too, but not as much as Ben.  </p>
<p>"Fuck! This absolutely sucks!" Ben yells. Rey feels horrible seeing him suffer. She looks ahead and can see that in about 15 feet the ground looks dry. "Keep going. We're almost through it!" She says encouragingly.  </p>
<p>The next step Ben takes has the water going up to his thighs but he keeps moving forward, cursing as he goes. The water comes up to the top of Rey's hips, it is murky and smells foul and she wants to be out of it quickly. With each step the water begins to recede, but bugs still swarm around them biting every chance they get. Ben shouts, "Ouch!" and slaps his face. They are finally out of the brackish water and continue to walk through the forest. Soon Rey can hear flowing water. She has been focusing on the forest floor as she walked, trying to avoid stepping on sticks and rocks but the sound of water makes her look up.  </p>
<p>What she sees horrifies her.  </p>
<p>Ben's back side is covered with two fat, long, black leeches.  She stops dead in her tracks and slowly looks down at her own body.  There are leeches all over her too. <br/>"Ben," she whispers and then calls out his name louder.  He's still walking away, mumbling swears.</p>
<p>"Ben!" She yells.  </p>
<p>He turns quickly towards her. "What? Why are you just standing there?" He asks. She looks at his face and can see his right eyelid is puffy and so swollen that he can only see out of his left eye. He looks miserable and it's all her fault. She puts her fear and disgust away and walks over to him and without saying anything begins to pluck the leeches off of him.  </p>
<p>"Oh my God!" He cries out, "Fucking leeches! I didn't feel a thing. Fuck, they're all over you too.”</p>
<p>"I know. Turn around I'll do your back while you do your front," Rey tells him. She pulls them off one by one which leaves a thin trickle of blood behind on each spot. When she finishes there is blood all over his legs and her hands. Then she starts to pull them off of her own body.  She finds one in her bellybutton, causing a wave of nausea, but she keeps going. Ben walks around her and begins to pluck them off her backside.  </p>
<p>"Hey, it's okay.  You're okay," Ben says and she realizes she's crying. Ben takes her hand and leads her through the last 20 feet of the forest to the river. The air is cooler and less humid, there are fewer bugs, and the gentle river water looks crystal clear. Ben helps her over some rocks and they're finally in the river. Rey sits on a low rock, with the water up to her calves.  Ben squats in front of her and scoops handfuls of water to her thighs to help wash the blood away. Then he brings his hands up to her face and washes the sweat and tears away. He brushes her hair back from her face and puts a hand on her shoulder, "Hey," he says gently.  </p>
<p>Her teary eyes snap up to his, "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. We should have gone back," she sobs, "Look at your poor face!"  </p>
<p>Ben laughs, "it's probably an improvement." </p>
<p>Rey shakes her head no and says, "Don't say that just to make me feel better," and Ben laughs even harder.</p>
<p>"I'm not," he replies. Rey looks at her hands and begins to scrub the blood and dirt off. Ben wades out a bit more to wash off. Once they're both clean and refreshed they sit together and look at the map again. It's late afternoon and it looks like they are still at least a few miles away from the extraction point. Rey is exhausted and Ben is extremely uncomfortable and itchy.  "What do you want to do?" She asks him.  </p>
<p>"I think we should rest here tonight and continue in the morning," he says. </p>
<p>"Okay," she says looking at his swollen eye.  "Does it hurt?" She asks. </p>
<p>"Not really. It's just annoying," he answers. </p>
<p>Rey decides to take charge since Ben can only see from one eye.  She tells him to soak his bites in the cold water to try to reduce the swelling, while she gathers firewood. She collects a good pile of wood and then starts to build a lean-to shelter.  After two hours she has made a small shelter that will do as long as it doesn't rain. With the sun starting to set she lights the fire and puts the pot on to boil. She finds Ben laying on his stomach across a large flat rock by the river. He's staring into the water with his knife in his hand. She watches as he stabs the water and pulls out the knife with a fish impaled on it.  He stands up and holds the fish up to his face and gives a triumphant shout of "YES, take that nature!"  </p>
<p>Rey giggles, "Hey, bring that over here and I'll cook it." Ben carefully climbs over the rocks to the shore and hands her the knife. She takes the knife and fish in one hand and grabs his hand in her other to help guide him to their new campsite. They sit down and Ben guts the fish and throws the innards back into the river.  Rey takes the pot out of the fire and sets it aside to cool.  Ben sharpens the end of a stick and pokes it into the fish and then holds it over the fire.  "I'll hold the stick," Rey says and Ben hands it to her.  </p>
<p>"I'm going to miss this," he says wistfully.  </p>
<p>"Me too," she says quietly. They sit beside each other and share the fish and then drink the pot of water. By the time they finish eating it's getting dark and time to put more wood on the fire.  Rey feels itchy in spots and can't imagine how crappy Ben feels. Thinking about the leeches makes her skin crawl.  What if she missed one? She begins to fidget, feeling like her skin is crawling. She stands up and says, "I have to pee, I'll be right back."  Rey takes a burning stick from the fire and walks towards the river. She squats and runs her fingers through her pubic hair, then through her labia and carefully examines all her parts, lastly her fingers examine her entire butt crack. Thankfully, she doesn't find anything. With a sigh of relief she has a pee and goes back to the fire. She approaches quietly and spies Ben checking his own body. She intentionally makes some noise and goes to sit by the fire.  She throws her stick back in to burn. </p>
<p>"You okay?" She asks.  </p>
<p>"Yeah, not really.  I'm itchy as fuck everywhere. How are you?" He asks.  </p>
<p>"I'm itchy too and the leeches really creeped me out," she replies. There is a little water left in the pot, "do you mind if I have this?” She asks Ben while holding the pot. He shakes his head no.  Rey pours the warm water into her hands to wash them.  </p>
<p>Ben says, "yeah, I wasn't expecting leeches. I thought we would see more dangerous animals like bears or mountain lions. I think we've been pretty lucky though, compared to more extreme environments." </p>
<p>"Definitely," she replies, "are you disappointed that you didn't get to go somewhere more exotic?" </p>
<p>"At first I was. The show said I could wait a couple of months and go somewhere in South America, but I didn't want to wait," Ben answers.  </p>
<p>"I think it's my fault.  I think they didn't want to spend a lot of money on my second trip," Rey says.  </p>
<p>"Well, I'm glad we got to go through this together regardless."  </p>
<p>"Me too," Rey replies.  After a while she says, "I think I heard the camera crew laughing at us while we were picking the leeches off." </p>
<p>"Bastards," Ben whispers, making Rey laugh.</p>
<p> A little while later, Rey lies down in the shelter, itchy and tired, while Ben checks the fire to make sure it will burn safely through the night. The temperature is in the sixties now which Rey finds comfortable as long as Ben is next to her. He lays on his back and after a minute she hears him scratching. She grabs his hand, threads her fingers with his and holds his hand through the night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 9</p><p>Rey wakes up first. She is on her side facing Ben's back and it's covered in angry red welts.  She quietly examines his whole back side and it's more of the same. Dark red scabs have begun to form up and down his legs and buttocks from the leeches. She slowly crawls out of the shelter and grabs the pot to fill it in the river. Once at the river she puts the pot down and takes her bag and coyote pelt off and wades in deeper. It's cold but the sun is shining down on her. She quickly dips under the water and once more goes over her private parts to triple check that they're leech free. Once satisfied that she is as clean as she can be at the moment, she fills the pot and returns to the camp. </p><p>Ben's still sleeping so as quietly as she can she gets the fire going and puts the pot on it. From where she sits by the fire she can see him. All of him, as he lays on his side with his top leg bent at the knee. She can see his scrotum. She has seen it many times over the last 21 days and is used to his body. She realizes that she's comfortable with his body. He has just the right amount of body hair to be masculine. His body odor is strangely not off putting even after all these days without soap or deodorant. She likes the size and shape of him, his broad shoulders, strong back, long legs, and big hands and feet. And that's just the back of him. He has more likable qualities on his front side too. </p><p>Rey has an epiphany. He's beautiful.  </p><p>She wouldn’t change anything about him, not one hair, not one mole. She tells herself she can indulge looking at him this one time because it's her last chance. He rolls over onto his back giving Rey a view of something she hasn't seen before. Ben has an erection.  She can't look away. It looks big, reaching up almost to his belly button and about as thick as her wrist, laying against his abdomen, as red as the welts on his back. She's mesmerized by it, noticing how the color of it goes from tan to pink to purpley red and shiny at the head.  It's like the rest of him, impressive.  </p><p>Oh God, she hopes it goes down before he wakes up because she knows he will know she's seen it. She should go for a walk or sit somewhere else but she can't look away. Then it boobs up and down once. It's fascinating to watch, like it has a life of its own. Ben makes a sleepy huffy sound and rolls over again and begins to wake up. Rey busies herself with the fire and takes the pot off and puts it down to cool. She takes the map out and pretends to be studying it. </p><p>A few minutes later Ben crawls out of the shelter with his bag positioned over his manhood, he stretches and yawns like nothing happened.  "Morning," he grumbles deeply.  </p><p>"Good morning Partner," she replies with a smile.  </p><p>"You're feeling chipper I see. You look wet." Rey blushes.  "You had a swim?" He asks.  </p><p>"Yup, I feel much better.  Still a bit itchy in places. You should go for a dip," she says.</p><p>"I think that's a good idea," he replies, heading toward the water. </p><p>She sips some water as he walks past her towards the river. He's only gone about 15 minutes and returns dripping wet. She hands him a cup of water and he drinks it all. He becomes very still and motions to Rey with one hand to get her attention. He slowly brings one finger to his mouth indicating to be quiet. Then he mouths "bears" to her. Rey scans the forest in the direction he is looking, and there about 30 feet away is a chubby cub ambling slowly to the river.  </p><p>Rey slowly and quietly grabs a stick and begins to separate the wood in the fire to put it out.  She knows she can't leave it burning. Ben crouches down still looking in the direction of where the bear is. He very softly whispers, "we need to leave now." He slides the cup into his bag and reaches for her hand, never turning his head away from the bear. Rey puts the lid to the pot in her bag and then tips the remaining water over the fire to put it out. She takes his hand and very slowly they stand up. Ben walks her further into the forest away from the river. </p><p>They walk in complete silence and don't stop for an hour. Rey thinks they're  going in the right direction but can't be sure. Finally Ben turns around and drops her hand,"that was close," he says as he runs his hand through his hair.  </p><p>"Too close. I only saw one cub," she responds.  </p><p>"The mother and a second cub were in the river, probably fishing.” The adrenaline that had been coursing through Rey's veins has begun to wane.  </p><p>She lets out a large puff of air, "I thought I was going to die a virgin on my last day here.”</p><p>Ben looks at her and blushes, which in turn makes her blush too. "Sorry, too much information.  I'm just a bit frazzled at the moment," she says. He turns and starts walking again and she follows him. After 30 minutes of walking the forest begins to thin and becomes a meadow again.  She had estimated that the meadow was about a mile and a half away from the road that they will be picked up from. </p><p>"We need to be mindful of snakes and ticks in this tall grass," she tells Ben. She hears him hum in agreement. </p><p>About an hour later they reach the road. They look one way and then the other but see nothing but dirt road. They hear the truck before they see it. It's a big white pick up truck.  </p><p>Ben turns to her, "We did it!  It's over and we survived!" He holds up a hand and she high fives him with a giddy expression on her face. The truck stops and Ben opens the tailgate and climbs in. He turns around and offers her a hand up and in that moment he looks battle worn, tired and dirty. She takes his hand and climbs in. There's a bench by the cab window with two robes on it.  They each put on a robe and sit down on the bench. The truck starts to pull away with a lurch and Ben quickly puts his arm around her shoulders to keep her from falling off the bench. He leaves it there and she rests her head on his shoulder. At first the ride is bumpy but once they reach paved roads it smoother and she is so comfortable and relaxed she falls asleep. Ben gives her a squeeze and she hears him whisper “Wake up Honey. We're at the hotel". </p><p>People from the show are there to greet them. Someone opens the tailgate and helps Ben down and then Ben helps Rey down, his hands on her waist. They are ushered into a room that looks like a makeshift doctor's office. They each get weighed. Rey has lost 19 lbs and Ben has lost 27 lbs. Then they are given a quick physical exam which includes vitals, eyes, nose, throat and skin. It concludes with Ben getting a shot of antihistamine and a cold pack for his eye and both of them getting an antibiotic shot just in case, because of the leeches. </p><p>Then they are greeted by another person who gives them key cards and informs them that their duffle bags are already in their rooms and dinner is in one hour. They are guided to the elevators and Rey pushes the button. </p><p>Everything is moving so fast now it seems.</p><p>Maybe it's the bright, artificial lights or all the different people telling them what to do, or maybe it's just fatigue and hunger. Rey can't tell. The doors open and they get in.  </p><p>"It feels weird to be back in civilization," she says.</p><p>"Yeah, it really does. Like everything is too shiny and loud," Ben replies. </p><p>"Exactly." The doors open and they step out and go to their rooms which are next to each other.  They each run their card and open their door and look at each other.  "See you later, Partner," Rey smirks at him.  He smiles and nods back. </p><p>Rey finds her bag on the bed and hunts for her cell phone and charger. She plugs in her dead phone and goes into the bathroom and starts the water in the shower. Then she brushes her teeth, then flosses, and then brushes again. The bathroom is warm and steamy when she gets in and begins to wash her filthy skin. She lathers soap all over and scrubs with a washcloth. She rinses and sees the cloth is brown.  She drops it and grabs a fresh one from the wall and lathers up and scrubs down again. Next is her hair. She goes through three hotel size bottles of shampoo to get it clean and uses two bottles to detanlge it. She exits the shower a new woman.  Wrapped in towels she finds the gifted t-shirt from the show that reads I survived Naked and Alone. She puts it on and pulls underwear and leggings out from her bag and puts them on. She brushes her hair and puts on chapstick and deodorant. She takes her towels back to the bathroom and dries her hair. Lastly she puts on her socks and sneakers, checks herself in the mirror, grabs the key card and leaves.  </p><p>Ben is leaning against the wall by the elevator. He flashes her a big smile, the one with the dimples. ‘God he cleans up well’ she thinks. He has on the same gifted t-shirt and dark jeans and sneakers. They get in the elevator and another couple get in after them. Ben turns to her and says, "you clean up well." <br/>She laughs, "Yeah, you too. You look nice with clothes on. How many times did you have to wash your hair?" She asks. </p><p>"I think it was three times," he says as he runs a hand over his jaw as he thinks about it.   </p><p>"Oh my God, you shaved your beard!" She says loudly. He laughs and nods at her. "I couldn't shave my legs because of all the scabs from the leeches," Rey says. </p><p>The woman standing in front of them turns her head to look at them with a horrified expression on her face. When the doors open a second later the couple rush out to get away from them.  Ben and Rey are laughing so hard, that they almost miss getting out of the elevator. </p><p>"Wow, did you see her face?" Ben asks.  </p><p>"It was priceless," Rey replies.  </p><p>They are met in the lobby and directed to go to a small banquet room that has a buffet dinner being set up for them and the crew.</p><p>The room has several small dining tables and a long buffet table is being set up by two kitchen employees. Ben picks a table and Rey is so busy looking at the food that she fails to notice that Ben pulls her chair out for her.  </p><p>"Oh, thanks," she says as she sits down. A waitress comes over immediately and gives them each a plate and asks what they want to drink. Rey asks for ice water and a beer and Ben asks for the same. They grab their plates and go to the buffet. There are so many different things to choose from and so much of it that it's hard to decide where to start.  Rey starts at one end and picks up a crispy fried chicken leg and chomps into it. It's so good her eyes roll back in her head and she moans. Ben is staring at her and laughing.  </p><p>"Oh, it's so good," she says with her mouthful, "try it." She holds the chicken leg up to his mouth, not giving him a choice. Ben clasps her wrist with his hand and takes a big bite. He hums approvingly, lets go of her wrist and puts a chicken leg on his own plate.  Rey continues to make her way along the table and loads up her plate with mashed potatoes and gravy, mac and cheese, sauteed green beans, cheese and pepperoni pizza, and another piece of chicken.   They sit down and Rey digs in. </p><p>Ben picks up his bottle of beer and says, "To us, for making it to the end and to making a new friend.”</p><p> Rey is trying to chew her food and swallow it down quickly while she grabs her napkin and cleans her hands and mouth. He's looking at her and laughing softly. "Sorry," she says," I know I have bad table manners. I’ve been told before." She holds up her bottle and clinks it to his and takes a long pull from it. It's cold and everything a beer should be. She covers her mouth and burps as quietly as she can but it's loud and Ben laughs again. </p><p>"I don't care about table manners. I know that you are at least 20 lbs underweight and I’ve seen you miss many meals. I'm just really happy to see you enjoying your food.” </p><p>Rey smiles and then takes a bite of pizza. "I missed cheese so much," she moans again and takes another bite. They each eat all of the food on their plates and drink their beers. A hotel server clears their table and Rey asks, "can we have coffee please?" Ben's eyes light up. </p><p>"Yes, coffee please," he says. The young woman brings them each a cup and is followed by another hotel employee pushing a desert cart to their table. Rey squeals with delight when she sees it.  It's covered in mini sized treats on small plates. Rey picks five different desserts and puts them in front of her. Ben is sipping his coffee enjoying the display of excitement in front of him. "Aren't you going to have some?" She asks. </p><p>"I'm not really a fan of sweets...except honey," he replies.  </p><p>Rey smiles and takes a mini cannoli with tiny dark chocolate chips on it and eats it in one bite.  Under the table Rey had her calf resting against the center table leg, or so she thought until she feels Ben's other leg stretch out and rest against the other side of her leg. Her one leg is trapped between both of his as he slowly drinks his coffee. Rey continues to eat her desserts one after another, in-between sips of coffee. Her inner voice has just woken up and is shouting all sorts of nonsense to her as she tries to savour her food. ‘He wants you,’ she thinks, ‘but he's leaving for New York in the morning and you might never see him again. Fuck. Shut up!’</p><p>When she finishes the last bite a member of the crew says, "okay let's take pictures." Ben pulls his legs away and stands up. Rey rises and stands next to him. He puts an arm around her shoulders and she puts hers around his waist and they smile for the camera. Then the crew line up around them and more pictures are taken. Rey asks the photographer to send the pictures to her email as the crew is talking to each other about their upcoming plans. She overhears snippets of their conversations. One guy says he's staying at the hotel to drive Ben and Rey to the bus station in the morning and another guy says he's leaving for Quincy in about an hour to go home to his wife and kids.</p><p>Rey turns and sees Ben yawn and notices that his eye looks a bit less puffy, but is turning a light shade of purple in spots. The medicine, beer and full meal must be having an effect on him.  One crew gives a wave and says good night and then everyone is shaking hands and saying their goodbyes. Rey and Ben make their way to the elevator with a couple of crew members and go up to their rooms. "See you at breakfast," Ben says as he reaches for his door knob.</p><p>“Um, yeah, breakfast. Sleep well partner,” Rey says as she walks into her room and leans against the closed door, frantically looking around her room. She grabs her bag off the bed and begins jamming her stuff into it, moving quickly and quietly. She puts her bag down and stares at the inviting king sized bed for a moment. Rey shakes herself and walks to the desk, finds the hotel stationary and pen, and sits down to write Ben a letter. She seals it in an envelope, writes his name on it, grabs her bag and leaves her room. She slips it under his door and takes the elevator back down to the lobby.  She finds the guy driving to Quincy and hitches a ride with him, and she's gone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sept, 22<br/>Dear Ben,  <br/>     I'm sorry I couldn't meet you for breakfast. I don't think I could have slept in this big bed alone and I didn't want to make a fool out of myself. It's better this way. I would have made a scene and cried and gotten snot all over your shoulder. I'm terrible at goodbyes. I hope you can forgive me. <br/>     I want you to know that I will never forget our time together. I will never forget you. Thank you for being such a good partner. Thank you for giving me the experience I was looking for. You never let me down.  <br/>     I want to read all about your next adventures. Tell me all about your return to the city, moving, and getting a dog. I will be cheering for you all the way from Boston. I know you will find what you are looking for. You will find peace.<br/>     It's strange how we've only known each other for three weeks but I feel like I know you so well that I’ll miss the sound of your voice and the warmth of your back.  I will not miss eating rabbits though.  <br/>     Anyways, I hope you don't stay angry for very long and write back to me soon.  I wish you all the happiness the universe has to offer.</p>
<p>                Your friend,<br/>                      Rey</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>So, I messed up and meant the update to include all the letters for September.  I cut them by mistake.  Luckily, Chelsea is an angel and she fixed it for me.  Here ya go!!!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sept 24<br/>Dear Rey, <br/>     I have read your letter 100 times.  I was angry yesterday but today I'm just sad.  I'm disappointed that I didn't get to thank you to your face, for helping me to survive, for making everyday better, for making it fun. Mostly, I'm sad I didn't get to hug you goodbye.  It would have been difficult for me too and I wouldn't have cared if you had  gotten snot on my shoulder. <br/>     Being back in the city is unreal to me right now.  I met my mother for lunch today and told her all about  our adventure.  I told her all about you.  I have donated most of my work clothes to an organization that helps people find jobs, thanks to my mom.  It felt really good to clean out my closet. My mom also gave me the name of a real estate agent so I hope to get my apartment on the market asap.  I will probably stay with her while I look for a new place. <br/>     I hope you made it home safely.  I hope you sleep better at night than I do.  I woke up in the middle of the night last night and wondered where your boney back was.  I miss you.</p>
<p>Yours,<br/>   Ben</p>
<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sept 30<br/>Dear Ben,<br/>     I was so happy to get your letter.  I went back to work this week.  I'm waitressing at a cafe a few blocks from my place.  It's not the best job but some of the regulars are nice and tip well so it's worth it.  My apartment is even smaller than I remembered it, but my plant is very happy I'm home.  He is a very lovely variegated pothos or devil's ivy plant and his name is Harry Potter.  I told him all about you and I think he's jealous.  He tried to throw shade but all he could do was drop one leaf (see included).  The biggest news I have is that Rose and Finn have set a date for their wedding and Rose asked me to be her maid of honor.  The wedding is in four weeks and yes, I have to wear a dress.<br/>     I hope you sell your place quickly and make lots of money.  I look forward to hearing more about house hunting.  I'm glad you were able to help people by getting rid of your work clothes.  I must admit that I have difficulty picturing you are in a suit and tie.  <br/>     I'll have you know that I have been eating lots of terribly fattening foods and my back is already less boney.  I'm glad you miss me, because I miss you too.</p>
<p>Yours,<br/>   Rey</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Oct. 7<br/>Dear Rey,<br/>     My apartment is on the market and I have three showings today.  I'm writing to you  while sitting at a coffee shop around the corner from my place. I really missed coffee.  I have spent the last week going through all of my stuff and got rid of most of it.  It was cathartic.  <br/>     Since I've been back my mom calls me everyday.  I think she thinks I'm lonely.  She keeps trying to set me up on dates.  I finally had to explain to her that although I am alone, I'm not lonely and I have too much to do right now to start a new relationship.  I'm enjoying having  time to read and listen to music, two things I haven't been able to do in a long time.  Do you have a favorite book?  What kind of music do you like?<br/>     Congratulations to your friends.  I'm going to need a photo of you in the dress.  Your letters make my day, Honey, write me soon and say hi to Harry for me.</p>
<p>Yours,<br/>   Ben</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oct. 14<br/>Dear Ben,<br/>     Harry says hello!  I hope you sell your place quickly and get out of the city soon.  I love Boston, but I sometimes wonder how much longer I’ll live here.  Rose and Finn have an apartment about 5 blocks from me but I think they are looking for a place in the ‘burbs. I met them for dinner last night at our local Mexican restaurant and was ambushed with a blind date.  They had invited a guy Finn works with to join us.  I just wanted to see them and talk about the wedding so I was pretty displeased.  I know that Rose just wants me to be as happy and settled as she is, but it's getting annoying.  I told her that yes I'm alone but I am not lonely (wink).<br/>     I'm glad to hear that your mom is looking out for you.  I tried to think of a super impressive book to list as my favorite but couldn't come up with one.  My all-time favorite is Pride and Prejudice, but I also enjoy lots of other genres.  I would have to say that in the sci-fi category I love Dune and if you like poetry I highly recommend The Profit.  For music, I'm listening to Billie Eilish a lot lately.  Tell me all your favorites.  I love your handwriting and your letters.  </p>
<p>Yours,<br/>   Rey</p>
<p>P.S.  I like it when you call me Honey.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p>
<p>Oct. 22<br/>Dear Rey,<br/>     Hello Honey!  I sold my apartment!  I have moved in with my mom, which is interesting.  She's gone most of the time (just like when I was a kid).  She’s a member of a bunch of committees and organizations, and has tons of friends that she does stuff with.  It's good though, I have lots of quiet time to myself.  I've started researching towns and looking at houses.  I want a house that needs work but has a good foundation.  <br/>     It sounds like your friends love you and want you to be happy, which is nice but I totally understand how annoying it can be.  You must be excited for the wedding.  Don't forget to send me photos.  <br/>     I did read Dune a long time ago.  I haven't read Pride and Prejudice, or anything by Jane Austin, probably because I have a penis. I did, however,  find a copy of The Profit in my mom's book collection and I'm enjoying it.  I have no idea who Billie Eilish is and find most popular music is overproduced and generic.  I've been reiquanting myself with 90's grunge.  I have started to teach myself how to cook.  My mom is a horrible cook but has somehow acquired a large collection of cookbooks.  Maybe one day I can cook you dinner.  </p>
<p>Yours,<br/>   Ben</p>
<p>P.S.   I still miss you, Honey.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oct 28<br/>Dear Ben,<br/>     Yesterday my friends got married and it was wonderful.  They both looked beautiful and so full of love for each other, it made me cry.  Just before the ceremony Rose confessed to me that she's pregnant!  I'm going to be an Auntie!!!  The baby is due April 3.  I'm so excited to meet this kid. I am truly happy for Rose and I know she will be an excellent mother.<br/>     Congrats on the sale of your apartment!  I hope you find the perfect house for you to start working on.  I like some 90's music, for example Alanis Moressete and No Doubt.  What kind of recipes have you tried?  I love anything Italian, Mexican, or Indian.  Actually, there isn't much food I don't like. I definitely would like you to cook for me.  <br/>     I will send you pics from the wedding when I get them.  I'm writing this to you from my bed and I'm going to go to sleep now.  Sometimes when I'm cold I prop a pillow next to me and pretend it's you.  Good night.</p>
<p>Yours,<br/>   Rey</p>
<p>P.S.  you should watch the movie <br/>version of Pride and Prejudice<br/>even though you have a penis.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Nov letters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oops</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nov. 5<br/>Dear Rey,<br/>      Such exciting news!  Congratulations Auntie Rey!!  I was happy to hear the wedding went well and I look forward to the pictures.  I have found a house I like and put in an offer.  I should hear back in the next 24 hours if it's been accepted.  It's an 80 year old farmhouse on 5 acres.  The house needs a lot of work but the foundation is strong and the house has good bones.  <br/>     In regards to food, I also like Italian, Mexican and Indian food.  I have made a lasagna that was pretty good and a Mexican marinade for chicken that I liked a lot.  I will endeavour to try more recipes.  <br/>     I took your advice and watched the movie version of P&amp;P and I must admit that I enjoyed it.  The music and cinematography were excellent.  What other movie recommendations do you have for me?  Will you spend Thanksgiving with Rose and Finn?  I'm planning to still be here with my mom.  She usually orders Chinese take out but I'm thinking about making the traditional meal myself.  <br/>     I think of you often, Honey, and it always makes me smile.</p><p>Yours,<br/>   Ben</p><p>P.S.  I'm jealous of your pillow.</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Nov. 28<br/>Dear Ben,<br/>     I did spend Thanksgiving with R&amp;F.  I felt badly for Rose because she is still experiencing morning sickness, which does not just happen in the morning but comes and goes all through the day.  Finn has been promoted at work and now they’re looking for a house in the suburbs, which will be cheaper than renting in the city.  It’ll be sad for me to see them move but I know it's what's best for them.  This is what my therapist calls "growth.”  Yay me!<br/>     Let me just say that I love lasagna and it is the way directly to my heart.  The idea of a man cooking for me is sexier than anything on Pornhub.  Also, about my pillow...you have nothing to worry about.  He is very short and bald and has no personality to speak of.<br/>     I hope you got the house and send me a pic of it so I can picture you there.  I have included two pictures from the wedding.  Hope you like them.  The dress is pretty but I doubt I’ll ever have an occasion to wear it again.  How was your Thanksgiving?  My movie recs for this time of year would have to include "Love Actually" and "The Holiday" , and yes they are chick flicks.  <br/>    I love your letters Ben.  </p><p>Yours,<br/>   Rey</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dec 10<br/>
Dear Rey,<br/>
I got the house and move in tomorrow!  I've had an inspection done and I now have a long list of repairs and updates that need to be done.<br/>
Thank you for the pictures. Honey, you look so beautiful I can't stop looking at them. The dress is the perfect shade of green for you.<br/>
I did cook a turkey and the traditional Thanksgiving dinner and it was delicious, even my mom said so.  Sorry to hear that Rose has been feeling unwell.  I'm sure that she will remain your close friend no matter how far away she moves.  I'm glad to hear about your emotional growth.  I hope I'm making strides in that department as well.<br/>
So, Pornhub?  Do you actually watch porn?  I'll have you know that I have started my own collection of cookbooks and I plan to have a gourmet kitchen in my new house.  As soon as it's all fixed up I will have to have you over for dinner and I will cook you anything you want.<br/>
I did watch the movies you recommended.  My mom loved them.  Any more recs for me? </p><p>Love,<br/>
Ben</p><p>P.S.  About your pillow… does that mean I'm more your type?</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Dec 17<br/>
Dear Ben,<br/>
Thank you so much for the lovely Christmas cactus.  It was delivered today.  You shouldn't have but, Harry is so excited to have a girlfriend.  Yes, he is a very fast mover and fell in love with her beautiful red flowers the moment I put her pot next to his.  I have named her Holly.<br/>
I can't wait to hear more about the house!  What will you do with all the land?  Have you started looking for a dog yet?  I will need pictures.  What's your plan for Christmas?  I will be having it here with Harry and Holly.  R &amp; F are going to see Rose's family.<br/>
In regards to your question, I do enjoy a wide variety of entertainment and that's all I'm going to say about that.  As for recommendations I suggest you get Netflix and watch a series.  They have tons of good ones.  I loved Breaking Bad.<br/>
How long will it take to fix your house?  I miss your voice.</p><p>Love,<br/>
Rey</p><p>P.S.   Yes!  You are more my type than my pillow!!</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello!  The gift from Ben is named after my friend, @albastargazer, who is a delightful person and a bonny writer.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jan. 1<br/>Dear Rey,<br/>     I hope you had a nice Christmas.  I'm glad to hear Harry approves of Holly.  You know most people don't name their plants.  I can't decide if you're crazy or just cute. <br/>     The week I moved in I had a new roof installed thanks to a very mild winter so far.  I have rented a floor sander and have sanded half the floors so far.  It's hard work but it makes a big difference.  I have a crew coming out tomorrow to fix and clean the fireplace and an electrician is coming the day after that.  Apparently all of the electric system needs to be updated.  There are so many things I need to do to this place that I'm sometimes concerned that I may have bitten off more than I can chew.  The house is a mess.  All the floors are covered in sawdust.  I haven't any furniture except a small table and one chair in the kitchen and I'm sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag.<br/>     Once the house is more livable I'll look for a dog. I need to buy a shop vac tomorrow and start cleaning up the sawdust.  I haven't cooked anything interesting in the kitchen yet.  I've been eating mostly sandwiches and cereal.  <br/>     I look at your pictures and think of you often Honey.</p><p>Love,<br/>   Ben</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Jan 9<br/>Dear Ben,<br/>     First, let me tell you that you can do it!  You can do hard things because you are strong, smart and capable.  Second, please take care of yourself!  You need to eat well and sleep on a mattress.  <br/>     Rose is six months pregnant now and she looks absolutely adorable.  I got to feel the baby kick.  It was amazing.  The ultrasound was normal and I'm happy to say it's a girl!  They haven't decided on a name yet.  <br/>     I was afraid that seeing and feeling the baby was going to fill me with envy, but it hasn't.  I'm really happy for Finn and Rose.  I had a really difficult time after Rose moved in with Finn two years ago.  That's when I started going to therapy.  I had all these emotions that just didn't feel right.  I had felt rejected and betrayed but my rational side knew that I shouldn't feel that way about my best friend falling in love.  My therapist says that I'm suffering from childhood neglect and that I just need to work on it.  I am and it's getting easier.  <br/>      My job at the diner is going well.  I've made a new friend , her name is Kay. She's a bit wild but really very funny.  She is always trying to talk me into going clubbing with her, and is full of tales of her sexcapades.<br/>     I enjoy hearing about your progress with the house.  Don't work too hard.  I finally received the pictures taken on our last day together and have included  copies for you.  We look horrible but I cherish them and you.</p><p>Love.<br/>   Rey</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Jan 18<br/>Dear Rey,<br/>     Thanks for the photos.  My eye!  I really did look horrible but you looked beautiful as always. <br/>I have finished the floors.  It was a lot of work sanding, cleaning with the shop vac, and several coats of varnish.  My next project is to paint all the ceilings.  The electrical work is done and the contractor's crew is coming out to demo the master bath tomorrow.  Later this week I'm having new windows installed.<br/>     You will be happy to know that I now sleep on a mattress.  Yesterday I took a day off from working on the house and went grocery shopping and made a healthy dinner.  <br/>     I have to return the sander tonight and I might buy some living room furniture.  I'm not sure what to get.  I'm just going to measure the space and see what they have.  <br/>      It's nice to hear happy news of the baby.  Hope Rose is feeling better now.  It's good that you see a therapist and work on your problems.  I also think it's good for you to go out with friends.  Don't spend every night home with Harry and Holly.<br/>     Still thinking about you.</p><p>Love,<br/>   Ben</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Jan 29<br/>Dear Ben,<br/>     Hope you are well.  I have a crappy cold right now.  I called out sick from work and got shit from my boss but, I don't care.  He's an asshole.  I have a fever and my nose won't stop running.  It's so red and sore.  <br/>     I hate my apartment.  I have from day one really.  I never even bothered to decorate it.  It looks just as shitty as the day I moved in.  Sorry, I'm feeling a bit down today.  It's probably just a combination of being sick and dealing with my stupid boss.  <br/>     I sometimes wonder when my life will begin, like I'm on pause right now.  Everyone else is moving forward but I'm stuck.  Maybe I just need a new job, or a new apartment.  Maybe I just need someone to tell me it's all going to be okay.<br/>     I wish I could call you and hear your voice.  Would you read to me?  Would you mind listening to me blow my nose a million times?  I'm sorry this letter is so pathetic.  My next one will be better, I promise.  </p><p>Love,<br/>   Rey</p><p>P.S.   Wear a bandana to keep paint out of your lovely hair!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Feb 7<br/>Dear Rey,<br/>     I was sad to read that you are sick.  I hope you are all better soon.  Please don't ever apologize for telling me how you feel.  I want us to be honest with each other always.  Everyone has a bad day once and awhile, and I've had more than my share.  Honey, everything is going to be okay.<br/>     The contractor was here today with a full crew to demo the kitchen.  Everything is going except the old cast iron and white enameled farm sink.  One of the guys found an old radio tucked way back in a cupboard and I was surprised to find it still works.  The only station I found that I can tolerate is a classic rock station.  I listen to it most of the time now and find that many songs remind me of my dad.  He used to listen to the radio in the garage while he worked on his car.  Those were good times.<br/>     It took me a week to paint all of the ceilings and I did get a bandana for my hair (thank you).  Today I've been stripping wallpaper.  I thought I hated painting ceilings but stripping wallpaper is way worse.  I've rented a steamer that's supposed to dissolve the glue and make the paper release from the wall, but in some places the paper is completely fused to the wall and needs to be scraped off, which leaves gouges in the wall.  I will have to patch the walls in several places.  I also now have little scraps of paper stuck all over my newly finished floors.  It's a big fucking mess.  Luckily, I only have to do the dining room and the hall bathroom.  Next week I start painting the walls.<br/>     I hope your pretty little nose has made a full recovery.  If I had a cell phone I would call you and read to you, even if you blew your nose in my ear.</p><p>Love,<br/>   Ben</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>Feb 15<br/>Dear Ben,<br/>      I’m all better, thank you.  I'm back at work and I even went out with Kay last Saturday.  She dragged me to three night clubs and managed to get us free drinks all night.  I was hit on by two men and one woman, so it was a pretty successful night, lol.  But seriously, I had fun dancing and I'm glad I went but, I couldn't do it every weekend like Kay does.  Do you like dancing?<br/>      I hope your battle with the wallpaper is over and that you were successful in getting it all off.  I'm sure it will look amazing when it's all done.  I look forward to seeing it someday.<br/>     I'm writing to you from the laundromat on my exciting day off.  How do I always lose a sock?  I think the machines eat them.  The sound of the dryers was making me sleepy so I went next door to the cafe and bought a coffee.  <br/>    Oh, I almost forgot!  I got an email from the show that our episode will air in May.  I can't wait to see it!  I hope it's not filled with gratuitous shots of my ass, although I have been told it's my best feature, lol.  It would be nice to watch it together.  I still wake up sometimes and wonder where you are.</p><p>Love,<br/>   Rey</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>March 1<br/>Dear Rey,<br/>     Honey, I would love to watch our episode together.  I should be done with the house by then.  I'm glad to hear you went out with your friend.  I have been forced a few times to go out to a nightclub.  I didn't enjoy it much because I found them too loud and crowded and I'm not much of a dancer.  I would rather dance with you in my new kitchen.<br/>     Speaking of, the new kitchen is almost finished!  The slate tile floor is in, as well as the back splash.  The laundry room and the pantry closet are now one room with a pocket door, which doubled the available storage space.  This week I finished painting all the walls upstairs.  Tomorrow the new kitchen cupboards and countertops get installed and then the appliances.  I will actually be able to cook this weekend!<br/>     I might be getting a new cell phone soon.  A cell company has asked to rent land from me for a cell tower.  I have to go to a town planning and zoning meeting to hear all the facts about it, but I'm pretty sure the people in town want it.  All the guys working on the house have complained about not getting reception here.  If I could call you I would, everyday.</p><p>Love,<br/>   Ben</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>March 12<br/>Dear Ben,<br/>     Hello!  I wish you could call me everyday too.  Your kitchen sounds amazing.  You've done so much work, it must feel very satisfying to see your plans become reality.  I wish I had that kind of a job.  <br/>     Harry and Holly say hi.  R &amp; F are doing well.  The baby will be here soon.  I have just finished crocheting a baby blanket (see yarn scrap) and it came out so well that I have begun a much larger project.  I got a flat tire three days ago and had to buy two new tires, which is fine, but I'm waiting for something major to go wrong with my poor baby.  I own a very well used 2001 VW Bug.  What kind of car do you drive?<br/>     The cell tower sounds like just what you need.  I can't believe they pay you!  That's awesome.  You should get cable too.  You need it for wifi, right?  I don't think I could live without wifi.  I'm totally addicted to having information and videos for everything I'm interested in.<br/>     I'm thinking about getting my hair cut short.  What do you think?  I haven't got anything interesting left to say.  I hope you get that tower and you can call me soon because I would love to hear your voice.</p><p> </p><p>Love,<br/>   Rey<br/>P.S.   my # (333) 555-1234</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>March 23<br/>Dear Rey,<br/>      I adopted a dog!  His name is Kylo.  As you can see in the photo I've enclosed he's a Border Collie- Black Lab mix.  He's about 8 months old and very smart.  He has already learned how to sit and shake hands.  He makes me laugh everyday, which is just what I needed. He follows me everywhere like a shadow and is sometimes underfoot which has slowed down my progress a bit.  <br/>     I have finished painting all the walls.  Tomorrow I start painting all the wood trim and doors.  The kitchen is done and the master bathroom is set to be finished next week when the jacuzzi tub gets delivered.<br/>     My mom surprised me with a visit last Saturday.  She came with Chinese takeout and a box of red wine.  We got a bit drunk and talked about Dad, which we both really needed to do.  I had a massive hangover the next day but still felt lighter.  <br/>     I have another town meeting tonight.  It's a process apparently, and I have no idea how long it will take.  I'm thinking about checking out a restaurant after the town meeting. I wish you were here to have dinner with me.  <br/>    I like your hair the way it is but, I also think you should do what you want.  Either way you will always be beautiful to me.</p><p>Love,<br/>   Ben</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>April 2<br/>Dear Ben,<br/>      I'm an Auntie!!!  Sweet, beautiful, perfect, little baby Paige was born today.  She is so precious, just the perfect mix of my best friends.  I love her.  R &amp; F are such good parents already.  I hope it will come naturally to me too one day.<br/>     I'm so happy to read about Kylo.  I want to meet him.  You both look so happy in the picture you sent.  I love it!  How was the town meeting?  Did you like the restaurant?  <br/>     Your progress on the house is exciting, especially the new tub.  How was cooking in your new kitchen?  You must be almost done with the house now.  I'm almost done with my crochet project.  <br/>     I hate my job, Ben.  My boss gets me so angry and the job is so pointless.  It's not what I want to do with my life.  My therapist has encouraged me to send my resume out to a much wider radius, the whole country.  I'm going to do it just to see what happens.  I'm tired of feeling stuck.  <br/>     Please write soon and rub Kylo's tummy for me.</p><p>Love,<br/>   Rey</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>April 16<br/>Dear Rey,<br/>     Congratulations on baby Paige!  That's wonderful news.  I hope I get to meet her one day.  I'm sure you have all the maternal instincts necessary to be a wonderful mother too.  <br/>     I know that your current job isn't ideal and well below your education level. It must be frustrating but, I hate the thought of you moving to the other side of the country.  Maybe you could find a job closer to me?<br/>     The town meeting went well and the tower has been approved.  I will probably have cell service by the end of May.<br/>     I finished painting everything inside the house.  Just when I thought I was almost done with my projects, part of the front porch gave way when the fridge was being brought in!  So, the kitchen is finished but now I'm redoing the front porch and I decided to go ahead and cover the lopsided, cracked, cement back steps with a large deck. I thought it might be nice to have a grill on the back deck.  I traded in my Lexus for a pick up truck.  Kylo loves it.<br/>     Next week I have a crew coming to paint the exterior.  I've also ordered new crushed stone to be put down on my long dirt driveway.  Right now the contractor and crew are working on the barn.<br/>     Honey, when you're sad please know that I'm cheering for you.<br/>Love,<br/>   Ben  </p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>April 21<br/>Dear Ben,<br/>     I made this for you to keep you warm.  Think of it as a hug made from yarn.  I hope the color is neutral enough to go with your bedroom or living room.  You could put it on your couch and get snuggly while watching TV. I'm keeping my letter short because I have nothing new to report.  I hope you are well and happy.  Give my love to Kylo.</p><p>Yours,<br/>   Rey</p><p> </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p> </p><p>April 30<br/>My dearest Rey,<br/>     Thank you!  I love the blanket you made for me.  I sleep with it every night.  No one's ever made me anything before.  You never fail to amaze me.  I was admiring it and I found you had woven one of your hairs into it which makes me love it even more.  <br/>    I finished the house yesterday. This morning I walked through it room by room.  I felt so proud and I think my dad would be proud of me too.  I thought when I bought the house that I would fix it up and flip it and move on to the next project.  But, Rey, I see how hard I worked and I see the potential each room holds.  I had an epiphany Honey, I don't want to sell this house.  I want to live in it.  <br/>     Right now the house feels so empty but I can imagine it full of people.  My people.  I think I might have lied when I told you I wasn't lonely or maybe, I just kept myself so busy that I lied to myself.  I am lonely but only for you.  Rey I want you to see my house.  I want to know if you see what I see.  I want you to be my partner again.  I want you to help me make this house a home.<br/>     I know this is a lot to ask you.  Your friendship means everything to me but I want more.  Please.</p><p>Love Always,<br/>    Ben</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rey</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rey gets home at almost midnight from a very busy Wednesday night at the diner.  She's tired but she finds a letter from Ben in the stack of mail in her hand, which fills her with excitement and new energy. She kicks off her shoes and jacket and quickly changes out of her work clothes, getting comfy on her futon.  </p>
<p>She reads the letter and can feel his longing, she realizes that she’s crying, tears streaming down her face.  All these months of wanting him and now he's begging her to come to him.  It feels too good to be true.  </p>
<p>A part of her wants to put her shoes back on, get in her car and leave right now, as fast as she can.  She reads the letter again.  Rey argues with herself about how late it is, how tired she is, what a mess she is.  She decides to sleep on it and that in the morning she will better know what to do.  Later in bed, after reading the letter again, she falls asleep holding it in her hand, pressed to her cheek.</p>
<p>In the morning she wakes up with a start.  The letter had slipped from her hand and landed on the floor.  She grabs it and reads it again.  Then she reads it again, very slowly, dissecting every sentence. It's still the same plea for her to come to him.  </p>
<p>She looks around her apartment.  She jumps up and puts the kettle on and reaches into the cupboard for a cup.  It's chipped so she grabs another and puts a teabag in it.  She examines the chipped mug, it’s shabby and stained inside.  Rey grabs her garbage bin out of the utility closet and throws the mug away.  Then she grabs another mug out of the cupboard, it's chipped too so she throws it away.  By the time the kettle whistles she has gone through all of her kitchen cupboards and thrown most of the contents away.  The garbage bag is full so she ties it and puts it by the door.  She pours water into her mug and makes her tea.  She puts a fresh bag in the bin and starts on the fridge next.  </p>
<p>Rey cleans out her bathroom.  She goes through her clothes.  She fills three garbage bags with broken, worn, outdated, crap she no longer needs and brings it all down to the dumpster.  She finishes her cold tea and then has a shower.  Rey dries her hair, does her face and puts all of her bathroom stuff into the now empty bathroom trash bin and puts it on the kitchen counter.  She puts on the dress she bought at Goodwill last week.  Rey looks at the row of boxes, laundry baskets and garbage bags that line the wall opposite to her futon.  She had never really unpacked after moving in. Probably because she hated her apartment so much.  Now she was glad about it. She moved some stuff around in the boxes and threw out things she forgot she had, and packed up everything left in her kitchen.  </p>
<p>Rey grabs her broom and sweeps all the floors. Then she loads up her car, putting as much as she can in the trunk, and Harry and Holly on the floor in the backseat, nestled in between an overnight bag and a box of books.  She gave her apartment one last look.  It was clean enough but she knew she wouldn't get her security deposit back because she had to leave the futon and her bed. </p>
<p>Rey laughs, "Fuck it.  I really don't care.”  She sends a text message to her landlord and slips the key into his mail slot. From her car she calls her boss at the diner and tells him she’s quitting. Lastly, she calls Rose and finally tells her everything. Rose doesn't sound surprised when Rey confesses her feelings for Ben or that she’s running off to be with him.  Rose does tell Rey that if it doesn’t work out she would always have a place with her and Finn.  </p>
<p>Rey puts Ben's address into Google maps on her cell and off she goes.  After an hour of driving she stops for a coffee and to read his letter again for courage.  Rey drives on, letting the radio take her mind off what she’s heading towards.  When she’s about thirty minutes away she stops at a grocery store and buys two large reusable shopping bags full of groceries.  She spends more than her average monthly food budget.  She even buys dog biscuits for Kylo.  </p>
<p>Rey loads the groceries up in the passenger seat and takes off.  The butterflies in her stomach multiply the closer she gets to her destination.  She drives through a small town, Ben's town. Just five miles to go.  </p>
<p>Then she’s on his street, two miles to go. </p>
<p>For the last mile there are no houses, just countryside.  </p>
<p>Then in the distance she can see a red barn set far back from the road, and as she gets closer she can see the gray house next to it. She slows down, signals and turns into the driveway.  </p>
<p>The stones crunch under her tires as her car creeps up to the house.  She takes a deep breath, parks, and gets out of the car.  Rey is immediately jumped on by a dog.  She kneels down and lets him lick her while she scratches his ears. It’s love at first sight for both of them.  Rey laughs and pets him with both hands. "Well, hello to you too, Kylo.  What a pretty boy you are!"  </p>
<p>Then she looks up to see a very shocked Ben staring at her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello!  New tags have been added.  🖤</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ben closes the mailbox box and raises the faded red flag.  He stands there for a moment debating rewriting the entire letter. </p>
<p>What if she doesn't respond?  </p>
<p>What if she flirts with him just to be nice like the waitress at the coffee shop?  </p>
<p>What if she doesn't want him or his house?  </p>
<p>He looks up at the house from across the big front yard that he mowed yesterday.  It looks good.  It fills him with mostly pride but there is sadness there too.  The front yard is big enough to be a soccer field and he can imagine a goal at each end as he walks to the front door. He can imagine Rey sitting on the porch on a glider, drinking a beer as the sun sets, watching their kids play.  In the living room he can see them cuddling on the couch watching a movie while a fire crackles in the fireplace.  </p>
<p>His fantasy has taken over his mind with the complete certainty that he did all of this work for her.  That subconsciously, he knew it the whole time. Every paint covered brush stroke, every hammered nail, every project completed was for her.  To give her a home.  </p>
<p>Ben goes to the kitchen to pour himself a second cup of coffee and sits at the kitchen table to drink it.  Kylo wags over to him and lays his sweet head on Ben's thigh, gazing up at him. Ben is lost in thought but his hand automatically rises to pet Kylo's head.  Ben calculates that it being Monday, Rey could get his letter as early as Wednesday or as late as Friday.  That means he shouldn't expect a written response until a week from Monday at the earliest.  It seems like waiting an eternity.  </p>
<p>It's only noon and he's exhausted.  He can feel himself giving into it.  The dark sadness of uncertainty is filling him up. Kylo barks to go out so Ben gets up and opens the back door for him. He watches the puppy run around and looks at his finished deck.  It needs a table and chairs and maybe a sun umbrella.  He should buy a grill.  He goes back to the kitchen and looks around and begins to make a list of things he should buy to make it more homey.  </p>
<p>Once Kylo is in his crate, Ben heads out to the big everything store on the other side of town and buys all of the things on his list.  It takes him five trips to get it all unloaded and into the house.  He puts the new TV and TV stand boxes in the living room and leaves the large boxed grill on the deck to assemble later.  He puts the groceries away and unboxes a red tea kettle and places it on the stove top.  He pulls tags and tickets off of red and white checked kitchen towels and red pot holders and puts them in a drawer next to the oven.  He puts two red cloth placemats on the table.  He puts a new wooden chair at the table across from his usual place. He lets Kylo out of his crate and feeds him and then lets him outside.  </p>
<p>Ben stands at the kitchen sink and looks out the window.  At the back of his yard is a large oak tree with a branch that stretches out across the yard.  He imagines a swing hanging from the branch and a small child being pushed by Rey.  He can almost hear them laughing.  He rubs his face and goes to the door and whistles for the dog to come back inside.  </p>
<p>He feels too tired to eat and decides to go to bed even though it's still early. After undressing and sliding under his sleeping bag, Ben realizes he forgot to buy himself a duvet and new bedding. He grabs the small stack of photos on his bedside table and looks at each one closely, memorizing every freckle he can see, the different ways she smiles, the way her hands casually touch her friends.  He remembers how she felt in his arms as she slept.  He puts the photos back on his nightstand and lays his head down.  His mind wanders to the time in the pool when she washed his back and he feels himself stirring in his pants.  He remembers her hands gliding over his skin.  He thinks about holding her arm as he pulled out the bee stinger.  How close they were kneeling in the water together.  </p>
<p>His erection is tenting his boxers and demands attention so he throws the sleeping bag off. Ben pushes his boxers down and begins to stroke himself slowly. He thinks about how she had looked at him.  How he had wanted to kiss her.  How he could have just leaned forward and pulled her lithe body into his arms.  How warm and soft she would have felt in the cold water. How she would have fit just right. He would have picked her up and sat her on the big rock and kissed his way down her neck to her freckled shoulder.  He would have slowly worked his way down to her breast and kissed every inch of it, seeing how much of it he could fit into his mouth.  He would have sucked and licked one and then the other. </p>
<p>Ben's hand is still  stroking and teasing his cock as he imagines how good she would feel.  He thinks about her hands on his body and how she would feel pressed against him. Would she moan? Would she ask him to touch her?  Ben pauses to spit in his hand and begins stroking and squeezing again.  His pace increases as he thinks about slowly sinking into her.  His grip on his cock tightens, imagining how she would clench around him.  His left hand squeezes the base of his cock so his right hand can focus on the tip.  He imagines thrusting in slowly and pulling halfway out of her warm and wet body.  Ben moans as he feels his orgasm approaching.  He wants to be buried deep inside her, so deep he’s a part of her. He imagines Rey’s hands gripping his shoulders and her legs wrapped around him, her lips on his neck as she moans.  Ben's hips jerk off the bed as he pushes up into his hands and he comes with her name breathy on his lips.  After catching his breath, Ben goes to the bathroom and washes his hands before climbing back into bed.  He tosses and turns for an hour before finally falling asleep. </p>
<p>The next day he only gets up to feed Kylo and let him out.  Ben spends the whole day in pj pants.  He feels bad for the dog but he needs one day of doing nothing, he spends most of the day in bed reading.</p>
<p>On Wednesday he doesn't feel any better and continues to mope. He makes a plan to do lots of things the next day.  He just needs one more day of nothing.  Ben’s worked hard the past few months, getting the house done and he deserves it.  So what if he's been living off cereal all week?  It's fine.  </p>
<p>On Thursday Kylo wakes him up at 7am by licking his face.  Ben gets up and feeds him and lets him out.  He makes a pot of coffee and has a shower.  He brushes his teeth and has a long look at himself in the mirror.  He trims his beard and mustache and combs his hair.  Then he puts on clean boxers and a t-shirt.  And looks for his jeans but all of his pants are dirty. He hasn't done laundry in a week. Ben pulls on a pair of grey sweats and grabs his hamper. He strips his bed and picks up everything on his bedroom floor, tossing it into the basket.  He starts a load in the washer and then pours himself another cup of coffee.  He takes a sip while looking out the kitchen window and sees Kylo chasing a squirrel, which makes him laugh.  He looks down and notices the sink full of dishes, he hasn’t done the washing up for a few days either. Ben sips at his coffee while he washes all of the dishes and pans in the sink. </p>
<p>When the dishwasher is loaded and running, he tops off his coffee and sits at the table to switch the radio on.  Ben drinks his coffee as “Here Comes the Sun” by the Beatles plays.  By noon Ben has done three loads of laundry and assembled the TV stand and hooked up the TV.  His bed is made, he's got pants on, he is making an effort today.  It's not easy, but he's trying to focus on doing one thing at a time.  Ben makes himself lunch and eats it to the song “Riders on the Storm” by the Doors and of course it makes him think about Rey. How she held onto his arm after her nightmare.  </p>
<p>After lunch Ben goes out onto the deck and unboxes the grill.  He lays out all the pieces and studies the instructions before assembling it.  He packs up the packaging and throws it away and then moves the grill around the deck till it's in the best spot.  It's 2pm and he has completed everything on his to do list.  He thinks he should have taken more breaks or done things slower.  He goes to the living room and fiddles with the TV until he figures out the functions and settings.  He has 87 channels and nothing is particularly appealing to him. Ben lays down on the couch and dozes off while the news plays quietly.</p>
<p>At 4pm Ben is awakened by Kylo barking at the kitchen door to be let out.  Ben gets up and runs his hands through his hair, trying to wake up as he walks to the door to let the dog out. He watches as Kylo does his usual run and sniff around the back yard. The pup stops abruptly with his ears straight up and turns to look at the side of the house.  Then he takes off running toward the driveway.  Ben listens, and sure enough he can hear a car coming up the gravel driveway. He slides his bare feet into a pair of old sneakers by the back door and walks out onto the deck.  He hears a car door slam as he rounds the grill. Kylo barks twice and then he hears female laughter. He walks down the steps onto the lawn and towards the side of the house. </p>
<p>He hears her. She's laughing and then she says,"Well, hello to you to Kylo.  What a pretty boy you are!"</p>
<p>Ben reaches the driveway and there she is on her knees, being slobbered and jumped on by his dog.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ben stands at the edge of the driveway watching Kylo jump up on Rey and lick her face.  She's laughing and petting him.  </p>
<p>"Kylo, down,” he says in his usual soft voice. Kylo sits and tries to be a good boy, with his tail wagging so hard that his bottom is moving from side to side. </p>
<p>Rey's eyes snap up to his, "Hi Ben.” </p>
<p>He just stares at her, not sure if he is entirely awake. Maybe he's still asleep on the couch and this is just a beautiful dream. Ben crosses his arms over his chest and pinches the underside of his arm. Ouch. ‘Ok I'm not dreaming,’ he thinks.  </p>
<p>Rey's talking to him but his brain hasn’t caught up to what she's saying. "Ben, are you okay?  You look like you're in shock". Rey says.</p>
<p>"What? Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay," He laughs.  </p>
<p>"Should I have written to say I was coming?" Rey asks.  She looks worried and a bit sad.  </p>
<p>"No! No, I'm glad you're here. I’m a bit shocked though...I've never had a wish come true before.”  Ben says with a bright red face. </p>
<p>Rey flashes him a big smile and then opens the passenger side door of her car and pulls out two large shopping bags. "I've bought food for you to cook me dinner." Rey says.  Ben steps forward " let me help you with that.”  He takes the bags from her.  She reaches into her car and pushes the seat forward to reach the back and puts a duffle bag on her shoulder and then pulls herself out of the car with a plant in each hand. She closes the car door with her hip.  Ben's standing like a statue, never taking his eyes off of her. Before his brain catches up he blurts out "you brought your plants.”  </p>
<p>"Well, yes. They don't get out much so I thought a little trip would be nice for them,” Rey says with a small smile. </p>
<p>Ben laughs as he turns and says, "follow me.” For once in her life Rey's inner monologue and her heart are completely insync. ‘I would follow you anywhere’ she thinks.  She wants to stare at his rear as he walks her to his house but she can't help looking around to see everything she's read about in his letters.  </p>
<p>"That's the barn! I love the red color...Wow, you made this deck!”  She says excitedly as she follows him up the steps.  Ben looks back at her and nods with a smile while opening the door.  She walks past him into the kitchen. Ben puts the groceries on the counter and then leans back on it and watches her.  She's not sure what to do with her plants so she asks him, "Can I put Harry and Holly on the window sill?”</p>
<p>"Of course," he replies.  He watches as she puts her plants on the wide sill above the sink.  She turns them till she's happy with their placement, she takes one of the long pothos vines and wraps it around the pot of the Christmas cactus.  Ben chuckles.  She smiles back at him before turning to look around the kitchen and says, "It’s a great kitchen, so big and bright.”  </p>
<p>"Thank you. Would you like a drink? I could make tea or coffee?" He crosses the kitchen and opens the fridge and says, "Or I have cold beer, if you like?" </p>
<p>Rey nods, "A beer would be great.”  He pulls two from the fridge and pops the tops with a bottle opener and hands her one. ‘Thank God for this’ she thinks and takes a long swig. Then she goes to the grocery bags and begins to take things out and lay them on the counter. Ben moves to stand next to her to see what she's brought. There are steaks, mushrooms, butter, salad things, russet potatoes, eggs, bacon, oranges, bananas, bread, dog biscuits, orange juice, half and half, honey, plums, a six pack of beer and a bottle of red wine.  Rey folds the reusable bags up and hands them to him. "Thank you. You really didn't need to buy all of this. It looks great though. Those are very nice steaks.”  </p>
<p>"Well," she says, "we're celebrating that you've completed the house. Do you have a bowl for the fruit?" He finds one and hands it to her and watches as she arranges the fruit artfully in the bowl. Ben grabs the bag of potatoes, opens it and takes out two.  He runs them under the tap and scrubs them clean then pricks them with a fork.  He puts them in the oven, turns it on and sets the timer for 40 minutes. Rey is standing by the counter drinking her beer watching him as he puts groceries into the fridge. She then wanders into the laundry room, "What's the hole in the ceiling," she asks?  </p>
<p>"It's a laundry shoot," he replies.  </p>
<p>"Wow, that's pretty cool," she says.  Ben finishes his beer and says "want to see the rest of the house?" </p>
<p>"Absolutely," she replies. Rey takes another sip of beer and then leaves it on the kitchen counter and follows him out of the kitchen. He takes her to the dining room. It has built in cabinets and wainscoting on the lower half of the walls, topped with a chair rail trim, all painted white. The walls are a warm tan color with a swirly pattern painted on top. A large black chandelier with candle tip light bulbs hangs in the middle of the room.  Rey walks in and runs her hand across a shelf of the china cabinet and Ben turns the chandelier on and then dims the light a bit.  "It's beautiful, Ben. Very elegant," she says as she turns to look at him. "How did you do this pattern?" She asks.  </p>
<p>"It's a clear glaze that I painted over the wall after I put the color up,” Ben says and then turns to leave the room.  He leads her into the living room.  There's a large fieldstone fireplace with a wooden mantle and is flanked by built in bookcases on both sides.  The wood is the same dark color as the original wood floors that look like new thanks to his sanding and refinishing. Rey runs her hand along the back of the saddle brown leather sectional sofa as she looks around.  The walls are a softer tan than the dining room and the rest of the trim is white. The blanket she made him is laying in a heap on the sofa. Ben picks it up, folds it, and hangs it over the back of the sofa and says, "I was taking a nap just before you got here.”  </p>
<p>She smiles and says “This is a very cozy living room. Looks perfect for a nap, or TV, or just relaxing.” </p>
<p>"I'll show you upstairs," Ben says leading the way.  At the top he leans against the wall in the hall and gestures for her to go into one of the rooms. </p>
<p>"Oh, I love this shade of yellow.  It's very cheerful...This room is bigger than my apartment.  Two people could easily share this room," Rey says.  Ben nods and continues to watch her explore.  She goes into the hall bathroom. It's completely white except the tile floor which is black and white.  "Very clean and practical.  I like the double sinks.  Cuts down on squabbling, I bet," she says. </p>
<p>"Mmm," he agrees. She notices a small door in the wall and opens it.  It's the laundry shoot and across the hall from that is a linen closet. She goes to the other bedroom that's the mirror image of the first one.  </p>
<p>"What a pretty shade of blue," she says as she goes to the window and looks out into the yard.  She touches the window frame that's been painted white as she thinks ‘he has made the most beautiful house,’ perfect for the large family she's always wanted.  They could have four kids or more, even.  She turns around and walks towards Ben and follows him down the stairs. </p>
<p>Crossing the foyer, he opens the front door and holds the screen door open for her as she steps onto the porch. The large, gray stained porch is the length of the front of the house.  The house itself is a lighter gray with a dark gray trim and a black front door.  She walks the length of it and then comes back to look towards the street and puts her hands on the rail. "You have a very large front yard," she says and then turns around to face him, "I can picture you sitting on this porch watching the sunset while drinking a beer. Maybe you should get a swing or a wicker bench.”  <br/>He smiles at her. "That's a good idea," he says. They go back inside and Ben leads around the living room to a hallway. "This is another bathroom," he says as he flicks on the light. It looks almost identical to the upstairs bathroom except it has only one sink.  </p>
<p>Rey nods, "nice" she says and follows him out to the hall.  He pauses and then opens the door, "this is the master bedroom," Ben says. He walks to the windows and opens the curtains. The walls are a warm gray taupe color. Rey notices the large king bed that looks freshly made with an opened sleeping bag on top acting as a comforter, two bedside tables, one long dresser and one tall dresser. Ben walks across the room, "this is the master bathroom," he flicks on the light and then leans his butt on the counter. Rey walks in and sees the large walk in shower with a bench and next to that is a giant tub.  "Wow, two people could fit in that tub," she says and then immediately regrets it. </p>
<p>Ben chuckles and says, "yeah, that's what I thought.”  He walks out and she follows as he leaves his room. "Last room," he says as he opens the door.  "This is the guest room for now," he says as he walks in and steps out of the way so Rey can enter.  The room has soft green walls and white trim. There's a queen size bed with a patchwork quilt covering it and a white side table with a lamp. Rey runs a hand over the lovely quilt.  "My mom gave that to me when she visited last month.  My grandmother made it," Ben says. </p>
<p>"It's very lovely," Rey says. Then she walks towards him, "It's a lovely room but I can't sleep here," she says looking directly into his eyes.  She can see him go through several emotions; confusion, anger, sadness, and back to confusion. </p>
<p>"But, you brought a bag? I thought you were going to stay a while?" He says looking around the room and then to the floor. Rey takes a step forward and lays her hands on his chest and says softly, "I am staying. I just meant that I want to sleep in your room. With you.” Ben's posture relaxes a tiny bit and he lifts his head to look at her. Rey slides her hands from his chest up his neck to his face. She sees the hope in his eyes as his gaze travels from her lips to her eyes and back to her lips. Rey pushes up onto her toes, closing the distance between them, and kisses him. His arms wrap around her, one completely around her back with his fingers curling around her waist, and the other across the back of her shoulders with his hand holding the back of her head. It's the best kiss she's ever had.  His lips are soft and warm and his arms holding her tight to his chest are trembling slightly.  She slips her fingers into his hair and her whole body begins to spark.  </p>
<p>The oven timer goes off, the loud sound startling them and they break apart. Ben smiles the big smile that she loves, the one with the dimples and teeth. He rubs his nose along hers and begins to plant little kisses along her cheeks, "I want to kiss-" he moves his lips across her nose, "every-" he starts on the other cheek, "freckle- *kiss* on you.” </p>
<p>Rey laughs, "that could take all night.”  </p>
<p>"I know," Ben smirks, "but first, I'm going to make you dinner like I promised in my letter.”  He takes her hand and they walk together to the kitchen. </p>
<p>“What can I do to help?" Rey asks.</p>
<p>“Open this?” Ben hands her the wine, the opener, and two wine glasses. She sits at the table, turns the radio on, and opens the bottle, pouring two glasses. Rey takes her jacket off and hangs it on the back of her chair then sits back with her wine and enjoys the view of Ben moving around his kitchen. It truly is the sexiest thing she has ever seen, the way he leans over the chopping board, so focused on what he's doing, the muscles in his forearms flexing as he expertly chops vegetables. She thinks about him being focused on her that way and it makes her sit up and cross her legs. She sips her wine and begins to feel flushed. </p>
<p>Kylo barks at the door to be let in so Rey jumps up and gets the door.  "Can I give him a cookie?" She asks Ben.  </p>
<p>"Yeah, sure. Just get him to sit for it first. And only one because it's his dinner time," Ben says.  Kylo, being the good boy that he is, responds perfectly to Rey's command and gets his biscuit.  Then Rey fills his dish with food and water and returns to her seat to watch her personal chef.  She's not really paying attention to what he's doing, just how he moves, so she's surprised when he puts a full plate in front of her a little while later. It looks and smells delicious.  He sits down opposite from her and picks up his wine glass.  </p>
<p>Rey holds hers out towards him and says, "to the chef.”</p>
<p>Ben replies with, "to all of my wishes coming true," he clinks glasses with her and then sips his wine, his eyes never leaving hers. They begin to eat and Rey hums happily because the meal is so good. They don’t speak much, enjoying their food and grinning at each other. When they’re finished Rey clears their plates and fills the sink with soapy water to do the washing up. "You don't need to do that," Ben says.  </p>
<p>"You cooked, I do the washing up," Rey replies.  Ben clears the rest of the stuff from the table and refills their wine glasses. He turns his chair so he can watch her. He has spent all of his time watching her face, trying to see how she felt about the house. And him. Now he has time to take in the rest of her. She's wearing a red cotton sundress with the same pattern as his bandana. The top part has spaghetti straps and is cinched with elastic that cling to her torso. The skirt flares out and ends just above her knees. She's wearing red canvas Chucks on her feet. </p>
<p>Rey is standing at the sink washing the plates when a familiar, old song comes on the radio. He turns up the volume to Van Morrison's ‘Tupelo Honey.’  Rey sways to the music as she washes.  Ben stands and walks to her, he puts his left hand around her waist and his right hand gently on her arm and sways with her, bending to kiss her shoulder. "You're wearing a dress," he says into her skin.  </p>
<p>"Mmhm," she hums. </p>
<p>He plants another kiss next to his first one. "A very pretty red dress," Ben says.  </p>
<p>"Mm, I'm glad you like it," she whispers.  </p>
<p>"Red's my favorite color," he says as he uses a finger to slide her strap to the side and kisses the spot it had covered. </p>
<p>"I remember," she whispers.</p>
<p>He slides the strap back and continues kissing to the end of her shoulder before starting his way back to her face.  He kisses the side of her neck and says, "I like your sneakers too.” </p>
<p>"Thank you," Rey says. </p>
<p>Ben slides his left hand around to the middle of her abdomen, with his fingers splayed and runs his nose up and down her neck.  "You're wearing perfume," he says and then kisses her neck.   </p>
<p>"Yes," Rey says so quietly that he feels her say it more than he hears her.  "And mascara and lip gloss." </p>
<p>His right hand drops to her waist and then travels around and up her body till it rests over her the center of her chest. "Did you do all of this for me?" Ben whispers just below her ear. </p>
<p>"Y-yes", she whispers, the dishwashing forgotten, her dripping hands gripping the edge of the sink. </p>
<p>Ben kisses down her neck and then across the back of her hairline to the other side.  "You didn't have to do all that," he says and begins kissing a path down her left shoulder.  "I wanted you the first time I saw you, standing by the side of the road wearing nothing but a smile. *kiss* I wanted you more when you were covered in honey, laughing at me. *kiss* I even wanted you when you were covered in sweat and blood and leeches.” Ben says as he reaches the end of her shoulder and begins his return, the hand at her chest pressing her body back into his. "Every letter made me want you more. *kiss* Every photo *kiss* showed me what I was missing.  *kiss* And now I’ve almost got everything I want.” Ben kisses the base of her neck.  </p>
<p>"What?" Rey asks breathily, “What else do you want?” </p>
<p>"I want you. *kiss* I want you to be with me.” </p>
<p>Rey's hands leave the edge of the sink and move to cover his.  "I need you too," she says and leans back against him, her face turning towards his. He kisses her lips gently.  She turns in his arms to face him.  Ben moves his hand to her shoulders and rests his forehead against hers, "I'm so happy that you're here but...I don't want to put any pressure on you." He pauses, "I mean physically. I'm happy to just sit on the porch and drink our wine and watch the sunset together, or watch TV or a movie.” </p>
<p>Rey smiles at him and says, "God, you're cute. I didn't come here to watch TV.  I came here for you.” She kisses his nose. </p>
<p>"Well, you can have as little or as much of me as you want," Ben says.  </p>
<p>"...What if I want all of you?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"...What if I want all of you?" She whispers into his skin as she kisses his neck.  </p><p>Ben’s eyes close at the meaning behind her words, and at the sensations she’s creating with little nibbles along his jaw. “Then I’m all yours” he whispers back.</p><p>Rey takes a step away from him, walks to the table, grabs her wine and downs it.  She sets the glass back on the table and then takes Ben's hand and walks him out of the kitchen toward his bedroom.<br/>Ben follows her in and closes the door, standing in front of her. Rey's hands find the hem of his t-shirt and lift it slowly saying, "I want to see my partner." Ben helps her take his shirt off as Rey runs her hands up his chest. She takes a step back, toeing off her shoes as she reaches for the hem of her dress, and slowly pulls it up and over her head and tosses it to the floor. She steps toward him again and reaches for his belt. Ben brings his right hand to her naked chest and traces the line the elastic of her dress has left on her skin.  She unbuckles his belt, unbuttons his jeans and slides the zipper down. The weight of his belt pulls his jeans low on his hips. He toes off his sneakers and pushes his pants down, kicking them away.  Rey slides her finger under the waistband of his boxers and hesitates, glancing up at Ben from under her lashes. </p><p>She’s unsure of how to get the boxers over his very obvious erection.  Ben does the job for her, hooking his thumbs at the sides and pulling them off. His hands go to her hips and he moves closer to her. "I like your little polka dot panties but they need to go," he says, sliding his fingers under the edge. At her nod he slides them down her legs and she steps out of them. "May I let your hair down?" Ben whispers and Rey nods.  Both of Ben's hands go to her hair, gently tugging the elastic holding her hair.  He smoothes her hair over her shoulders, "There's my partner," he whispers as he pulls her to his chest. Ben wraps his arms around her and lays his forehead on her shoulder and just holds her. </p><p>Rey can feel his erection hot against her stomach and the slight tremble in his arms and chest. She runs a hand up his back and into his hair and whispers, "Take me to bed.”  Ben leads her to his bed, pulling back the sleeping bag covering the bed. Rey slides in first and Ben follows, scooting in on his side against her.  His hand rubs lightly across her stomach as he leans down to kiss her. Rey's arms go around his neck as she pulls him half on top of her and their kisses become more intense. "Make love to me," Rey breathes into his ear. </p><p>Ben pulls away so he can see her face.  His hand moves slowly from her stomach up over her ribs, then across her breast, until it reaches her face.  His thumb strokes her cheek and he says, "I will but I'm going to go very slowly. I want to make this good for you.”  He watches his hand caress back down her body to her breast.  He holds it, testing its weight in his hand, gently squeezes it and then runs his fingers over her nipple. His lips find her neck and Rey pulls his face back up to hers for more kisses. Ben's hand searches for her other breast to caress and squeeze. Rey moans into his mouth when he tweaks the nipple. He pulls away to look at her, "you are so beautiful," he says lowering his head to her chest. He rubs and nuzzles her breast with his nose and mouth, then begins to kiss the soft skin. When his lips reach her perky nipple, he licks and sucks it into his mouth, cupping her breast with his hand. He moves to the other breast and gives it the same attention. </p><p>Ben smooths his hand over her abdomen and down her right leg. When he reaches her knee, he lifts her leg, hitching it over his hip. His hand slides around her thigh, gripping her he arches his hip into her side and moans into her breast.  Ben releases her thigh and traces his hand to the top of her mound, lightly stroking the hair there before slowly slipping his finger down to her wetness.  His large hand completely covers her sex. Rey shifts, hooking her knee higher on Ben’s leg, making more room for his hand as Ben kisses back up her chest to her lips. He slides his fingers back and forth, teasing before dipping his fingers in deeper.  His fingers slide between her swollen lips, gathering the moisture there before sliding up to her clit and gently circling it, spreading her wetness. Rey moans into his mouth and grips his shoulder, her hips beginning a slow roll.  Ben continues to make small circles around her clit before sliding to her opening and slowly pushing his middle finger into her.  With his big hand he is able to reach her clit with his thumb and continue to make circles around it.  Rey moans and pushes up into his hand taking his finger deeper inside.  </p><p>Ben has to shift his body so his cock isn't pressed between them or he's going to cum just from watching her.  His cock now rests on Rey’s hip, she looks at it and says "I want to touch you too,” reaching for it. He freezes and almost shouts, "No! Please. I'm so close already, just from touching you. Please, Honey, let me do this." He looks and sees his cock has made a puddle of precum on Rey's belly. He takes a deep breath and kisses her again, circling her clit and slowly pumping his finger in and out until he feels her relax, then he adds a second finger. </p><p>Rey's breathing increases and she has beads of sweat on her forehead, her hips rocking in time with Ben's hand. Her hands are gripping his back while she buries her face in his neck and shakily says, "don't stop.” Her legs are beginning to tremble and she holds her breath for a moment before her hips come up off the bed as she cries out. Ben can feel her clamping down on his fingers and is so close to cuming that he doesn't dare move. He watches as Rey goes limp as she catches her breath. She has a sweet smile on her face and her eyes are closed.  She looks satisfied and content.  Ben slowly removes his fingers from her body and her eyes open. "I think I'm ready now," she says as she reaches for him. He kisses her as he climbs over her, framing her face between his arms. Looking down at her he says "I’m so close, I’m ashamed this might be quick.” </p><p>Rey palms his face and replies, "it's okay.  We have all night. All week even.” Her reply makes him happy and sad at the same time. He wants more than a week. He wants a lifetime. Ben nods his head and reaches down to palm his cock. He lines up and slowly pushes in, watching her face for any sign of discomfort as he continues inch by inch. Rey shifts her legs to wrap around the back of his thighs and he slides in a little more. He's shaking, his mouth open, eyes still focused on her face.  Rey works her hands down his back to his buttocks and grabs on with both hands, pulling him in the rest of the way. Ben is blowing out large puffs of air and says, "Don't move.” His arms are shaking more as he tries to not cum. Rey stays completely still and waits.  After a handful of heartbeats, Ben bends his elbows and rests his forearms on either side of Rey’s head, stroking her hair back as he kisses her softly.  She feels him slowly pulling out and then thrusting back in. He does it again but only pulls out half way before pushing back inside her. His face moves to her neck and his pace increases as his thrusts become shallower until he's not really pulling out but rocking into her. A moment later he pushes in as far as he can and groans in her ear.</p><p>Rey can feel him twitching inside of her as his whole body tenses.  He rests on top of her as he catches his breath, his weight comforting rather than crushing. He kisses her cheek as he pulls out, and then gets up and walks to the bathroom. Rey is stretching like a cat when he comes back with a warm washcloth and kneels on the bed beside her legs. He very gently cleans away the cum leaking from her. Rey’s pussy is red and a little puffy, "Does it hurt?" Ben asks.</p><p>"No, you didn't hurt me” Rey says as she strokes his side with her hand. He takes the cloth back to the bathroom and climbs back in bed beside her. He pulls Rey to his side and she snuggles up against his side, her head resting on his shoulder. Rey places sweet kisses across the side of his face that she can reach. "It was nice. Perfect. Better than I imagined my first time could be because it was with you,” she says as she continues to kiss his cheek, his nose, his closed eye.</p><p>"I should have worn a condom," he whispers. "I'm sorry I didn't think of it earlier.”  </p><p>"It's fine. I'm on birth control," she replies.  </p><p>"You are?" He questions.  </p><p>"Yes, for a few years now. For medical reasons. One of my ovaries wasn't functioning properly so my periods were irregular. The doctor recommended birth control to regulate it, which should improve my chances of getting pregnant when I'm ready," she says.  </p><p>"Oh, that's good. How many kids do you want?" He whispers as he kisses along her clavicle.</p><p>She's hesitant to answer, afraid of killing the mood and scaring him away, but she reminds herself that the man just washed her lady parts for her after fucking her. She should be able to tell him anything. "Well, I definitely want more than one but fewer than six," she says not looking at him.  </p><p>"Me too," he whispers, kissing her temple. </p><p>"You do?" She says, a little surprised, looking in his eyes.  </p><p>"Yeah," he chuckles when he sees her expression. </p><p>"Hmm... I'm on the pill but it's only like 98% effective. What would you do if I got pregnant?" She asks.  </p><p>"Is this a test?" He asks with a smile.  </p><p>"Yes.” she smiles back at him.  </p><p>He takes a deep breath and says, "Did you see the big tree in the backyard?" </p><p>"Yes,” she whispers.  </p><p>"I would hang a swing from it," he says looking into her eyes.  </p><p>"Really?" She questions.  </p><p>"Yes.  Really... I want all of it Rey. Everything. With you," he whispers, searching her eyes.  </p><p>Rey crushes her lips to his, tightening her hold on him. In between hot breathy kisses she tells him, "I want that.  Everything.  With you too.” </p><p>Ben's hands are all over her body, his lips returning every kiss with equal passion.  "I love you," he says softly into her mouth.  </p><p>Rey stills. "Say it again," she says, her lip trembling.  </p><p>Ben pulls his face back so he can see her better and cups her face with his hand and says, "I love you so much Rey." </p><p>He has said the words that no one has ever said to her before and she can see the love shining in his eyes.  "I love you too," she says with conviction.  </p><p>He flashes her his big dimpled smile as they lay on their sides looking at each other.  "Stay with me.  Don't go back to Boston," he says.  </p><p>"Okay," she replies.  </p><p>He laughs, "That was easy. I thought I was going to have to convince you to stay with me.”   </p><p>"Ben, your letter. I read it a dozen times and I knew what I wanted," she says shyly.  </p><p>He kisses her blushing cheek. "So, you'll quit your job?" He says between kisses.  </p><p>"Done," she replies, kissing him back.  </p><p>"You'll give up your apartment?" He asks with his lip on her skin. </p><p>"Done," she returns.  </p><p>"You'll move in with me?" He asks through another kiss.  </p><p>"Everything I own is in your driveway," she says as she wraps her leg over his hip.  </p><p>"My beautiful, brave partner, I fucking love you so much," he declares as he rolls on top of her.  "I'm going to marry you and keep you fat and happy for the rest of your life.” </p><p>Rey giggles and says, "Okay.” </p><p>Their kisses become sloppy, hands touching everywhere and their need to be joined rising in both of them.  "Are you sore?" Ben asks between pants as he runs a hand from her hip down the thigh that's wrapped around him. </p><p>"No", she pants back.  </p><p>"I want to fuck you again. Do it right this time." He pants as he rubs the head of his cock back and forth across her opening, smearing her wetness over his cock. He slowly pushes into her in one smooth slide and continues kissing her lips. He gives Rey time to adjust and whispers "you feel so good, Honey. I want to make you cum while I'm inside of you.”  Rey tilts her pelvis, matching his slow thrusts and moans softly. </p><p>Ben straightens his arms and rearranges their bodies making sure his cock stays inside her. He kneels and pulls her thighs up onto his, pushing his cock deeper inside her. His right hand rests on her abdomen and his thumb finds her clit and begins to circle it. "I want to watch you cum," he says as he slowly begins to pump his cock in and out of her. His eyes travel up her body to her face and then back down to where they’re joined. Ben speeds up his thrusts.</p><p> Rey looks so gorgeous like this he thinks, all spread out, letting him fuck her. He can feel her body ramping up for another orgasm. She flushes red from her face down to her tits that bounce as he thrusts into her. He can see her mouth open, her kittenish tongue licking her lips as she pants. Her eyes are half open, watching him as her abdominal and thigh muscles tense. He increases the pressure on her clit and thrusts as deep into her as he can. Rey closes her eyes tight, holds her breath and arches into him, letting out a cry as she cums.  Ben stills, keeping his cock deep inside her. He can feel her body pulsing around it in waves as he keeps his thumb circling her clit, working her through her orgasm. It's the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. His right hand grabs her thigh and he pulls his cock halfway out and quickly thrusts back in a few times before cumming with a shout. He rides out his orgasm clutching her thighs to him while gently rocking their bodies together. </p><p>Rey looks up at him, his face in ecstasy, and thinks that everything she's been through has been worth it, to be here in this moment with this man.  Ben opens his eyes and looks at her while he catches his breath.  She holds her arms out to him and he shifts forward to collapse on top of her, making her laugh. "That was, without a doubt, the best sex I've ever had," she laughs softly into his ear as she strokes his hair away from his face.  </p><p>He chuckles and says, "me too," as he pulls out from her body and rolls off of her.  Rey gets up to use the bathroom and comes back to find Ben is almost asleep. She pulls the sleeping bag over them and curls up with his arms around her.  The familiarity of her head resting on his chest and shoulder, where she fits so perfectly, feels natural and comforting. </p><p>It feels like home.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 23</p><p>Ben wakes up with a soft smile on his face, images of Rey in ecstasy floating in his mind.  He reaches out for her, but finds her side of the bed empty and sits up with a start, adrenaline coursing through his body. His wide eyes scan the room and see her duffle bag on the floor. He takes a breath. She's still here. He goes over all the sweet words they shared in his bed as the rest of his senses awaken fully.  Then he hears her singing along with the radio in the kitchen, and he can smell coffee and bacon.  His smile returns as he gets up to use the bathroom and get ready for the day.  </p><p>Ben finds Rey standing in front of the stove cooking and swaying to the music. He comes up behind her and kisses her on the head, his hands rubbing up and down her arms.  </p><p>"Good morning partner," she says as she turns her head to kiss his cheek. "Coffee's made and I'm almost done with these eggs.  Hope you like scrambled, because that's really all I know what to do with them," Rey says.</p><p>"Thanks. They look great," Ben says as he fills the cup put out for him with coffee.  He sits down at the table and enjoys his coffee as he watches her plate the food.  She's beautiful, barefoot and wearing a pair of cut off jeans shorts and a flannel shirt tied at her waist.  The navy blue and pine green plaid shirt looks familiar and he realizes it's his. She must have raided his closet while he was still asleep. He thinks to himself 'I would give her anything, all that I have,’ and it makes him let out a small laugh.  Rey slides a plate in front of him and sits across from him.  She puts ketchup on her eggs, then puts butter and honey on her toast and swirls her knife over the surface. Ben watches as she takes a big bite. His eyes go to the bear shaped bottle of honey and sees a small drop of it run down the tip of the container.  He has so many ideas and they all go right to his cock.  </p><p>"Aren't you hungry?" Rey asks, snapping him out of his thoughts.</p><p>"Yeah," he digs into his eggs and has a bite.  "I like your shirt," he says smiling at her.</p><p>"I hope you don't mind." She says smiling back at him. "I threw most of my old clothes away before I left Boston.”</p><p>"I don't mind at all.  It looks good on you," he says.  </p><p>Rey's done eating and sips her coffee as Ben finishes his food. "Kylo and I had a walk around the property this morning and I have some ideas for you.  I started making a list," she says as she takes her cell phone from her pocket. "The rhododendrons and lilacs all need to be cut back but I think the scruffy yews at either end of the front of the house have to be dug up and replaced. Do you have any gardening tools?" She asks. </p><p>"Maybe in the barn. There’s a bunch of junk in there that needs going through." Ben replies.</p><p>"Oh, that sounds like fun. I love going through old stuff.  Maybe we'll find something useful.”</p><p>Ben can't think of any other person he knows who would enjoy a day of cleaning out junk with him.  "We don't have to do it today, if you don't want to. We could go do something fun.  Go shopping or out for ice cream?"</p><p>Rey laughs,"I'm not a huge fan of shopping," she says as she begins to clear the table.  Ben jumps up, "Hey, you cooked breakfast.I clean up," he says and turns the hot water on in the sink.  Rey hops up on the counter next to the sink and watches him do the washing up. "I thought watching you cook was sexy but this is even better," she says to him.</p><p>He smiles and winks at her as he finishes the last pan.  He drains the sink and wipes the counter top down.  He stands in front of her and runs his hands up her thighs, spreading them so he can stand between them. "Maybe we could do the things on you list tomorrow and stay inside today," he whispers in her ear and then kisses her just below it.  Rey has one arm around his shoulders and her other hand threaded through his hair.</p><p>"I'm...I'm a bit sore today, actually." She says quietly.</p><p>"Oh, I'm sorry.  I wasn't thinking.  What can I do?" He says with a worried look on his face. "Would a bath help? Or, I don't know, maybe some Tylenol?" He looks away from her and sighs defeatedly.</p><p>Her hand cups his face, "I'm fine.  My lady parts just need a rest today I think". She kisses his nose.  </p><p>"Okay, let's clean out the barn then," he says as he backs away from her.  Rey jumps down and grabs his hand and leads him outside to the barn. Kylo joins them with a stick in his mouth. Ben pets his head and takes the stick and throws it as far as he can.  Kylo runs full force to chase after it.<br/>
"We should get him a frisbee," Rey comments.</p><p>Ben opens the barn doors and Rey looks in completely fascinated.  There's all sorts of stuff piled up.  She can spot a stack of clay pots, old tires, rusty tools, a hose, old bicycles, metal furniture, and crumbling cardboard boxes full of rusty things.  Everything has been pushed up to the sides of the barn and in the middle sits a brand new riding lawn mower.  On one side is a ladder that angles up to a loft that is about half the length of the barn.<br/>
"What's up there?" She asks as she points to the loft.  </p><p>"I don't know.  I haven't had a look yet," he replies.  Ben starts the mower and moves it out to the driveway.  Rey gets busy sorting through the boxes and makes a pile of stuff that is beyond repair and another pile for stuff that has potential.  After a few hours everything has been sorted and the piles are just about even.  Ben fills the back of his pickup truck with the discard pile to haul to the recycling center later.  Rey grabs a broom and clears away all the old cobwebs dust and dirt.  She then climbs up the ladder to see what's in the loft.  It's empty except for a few 2 by 4's and some other scrap lumber. She tells Ben this as she’s coming back down the ladder, where he is standing at the bottom waiting for her.  He had been staring at her ass the entire time.  Her little shorts had been distracting him all day.  He walks himself and his hard-on over to the mower and sits down.  </p><p>Rey looked around at the pile of old tools and began making notes in her phone. "I think we can save these tools with some steel wool and oil but there are several we need to buy to do the landscaping.”</p><p>"Okay, we can go to the hardware store tomorrow and get whatever you want.  I'll need to go to the dump first and get rid of the junk.”  Ben drives the mower back into the barn and parks it. Rey closes the barn door behind the mower and then walks over towards Ben.  She stands between the ladder and the mower.  </p><p>"We could use the leftover paint from the house and put a fresh coat on the patio furniture we found," she says.</p><p>"That's a good idea", Ben says as he gets off the mower.  Ben leans over and plants a kiss on her lips, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her off the ground. "You're full of good ideas.  Aren't you?" He says as he kisses her again.  </p><p>"Mmhmm," she hums into his lips.  Ben puts her down and she walks over to the ladder and steps up on the first tread.<br/>
"Come here," she says to Ben.<br/>
He goes to where she is perched on the first rung of the ladder and they are standing eye to eye.  She runs her hands over his chest and tilts her head to kiss his neck.  Ben's hand travels from her waist to around to her butt and he arches his pelvis into her.  </p><p>Rey whispers to him, "you've been very patiently staring at my ass all day, haven't you?"</p><p>"Yes.  I couldn't help it.  It's these shorts. They're killing me," he says kissing across her cheek and back to her lips.</p><p>"I have an idea," she says as her hands move down his chest to his sweatpants, her mouth on his. He moans when her hands run over his clothed cock.  She slides a hand inside and stokes him gently.</p><p>"Rey," he moans, squeezing a globe of her ass in each hand.  Rey pulls his pants over his erection and under his balls.  While still kissing him she undoes her shorts and pulls them down to rest low on her legs. She takes Ben's cock and slides it between her thighs. Ben moans as the head of his cock rubs along the wet hot seam of her. Rey steps her feet together to hold his cock snug between her thighs and she puts her hands on his shoulders to keep her balance.  </p><p>Ben begins to move his hips back and forth. "Rey, you want me to cum like this?"</p><p>"Yes. Cum in my panties. Or I'll jerk you off if you want.” Ben looks down and watches his cock disappear into the darkness of her.  He can definitely cum this way.  There is no doubt in his mind but, he wants her to cum too. He slows his hips and says in between kisses,"I want you to cum too."</p><p>"This time is just for you," she whispers between kisses.  </p><p>Ben moans and thinks that after a lifetime of people taking everything they could from him, that he has never heard such sweet words.  It gives him the courage to tell her exactly what he wants to do. "I want to cum on you and then take you inside and wash you in the shower and then lay you on the bed and fuck you with my mouth.”</p><p>"Oh, God. Yes," she says, kissing him.  Ben picks up his pace, sliding his cock back and forth.  Rey squeezes her thighs together and she can feel herself getting wetter from the friction.  On his next pull out, Rey gently takes hold of his cock and swirls his tip around smearing precum on her clit with a soft moan.  </p><p>"Fuck," he whispers as he watches her use him.  Rey slides his cock up against her pussy again, spreading the lips over his cock with her fingers.  Ben moans and begins rocking again, arching into the tight space she's created for him. Of all th things he's imagined doing to her, with her, he had never thought of what they are currently doing, making it the most erotic moment in his life.  Rey pulls his t-shirt off over his head and tosses it onto the mower.<br/>
He can feel himself getting closer, he's huffing and sweating as he moves his hips back and forth.  Rey squeezes her thighs tighter and Ben throws his head back, "I'm gonna cum," he groans as he presses his hips to hers.  His cock, surrounded by her hot flesh, throbs as his orgasm washes over him. After a moment he slowly pulls back and watches as more of his cum lands on her pubic hair, thighs and panties. Then Rey is kissing him, making him feel loved and appreciated in a way no one has ever done before. She gently tucks him back into his pants as he returns every kiss.  He slides her panties back up and over the mess he made and then he zips and buttons her shorts.  He pulls himself away to look at her face and can still see her arousal there.  He bends down and picks her up, tossing her over his shoulder and carrying her out of the barn and into the house. Rey squeals with laughter all the way to the bathroom.  Ben sits her down on the counter and starts the shower. He adjusts the temperature and grabs towels for them.  Then he turns to her and begins to undress her, starting with the flannel shirt.  He pulls her down from the counter and continues to take all her clothes off before removing his own.  He gets in the shower first to test the water and holds his hand out for her to help her get in. Ben washes Rey’s hair, careful to not get suds in her eyes and then gently washes her body, caressing the soap over her, paying special attention to her breasts. He kneels on the shower floor and lifts one of her feet to his bent thigh, opening her to him. He slowly massages the soap up her thighs and around her center, avoiding where she wants his fingers the most. Rey rolls her hips, trying to get his fingers to her clit, but Ben just chuckles and says “Patience.”</p><p>Rey takes her foot off Ben’s leg and pulls him to standing, maneuvering him out of the spray so she can return the favor washing him. While she soaps his chest and shoulders, Ben rubs conditioner through her hair, finger combing through her chestnut waves. They take turns to rinse under the shower and Ben steps out to hand Rey a towel as she wrings out her hair.</p><p>Rey's pussy is pulsing with anticipation after Ben’s attention in the shower. She feels nothing but anticipation for what Ben is planning to do to her, no nervousness or anxiety. For the first time she is with a man who makes her feel completely comfortable and this has lowered her inhibitions, practically erasing them.  Rey dries off quickly, throwing her towel over the shower rod and walking to the bed.  Ben finishes toweling off and joins her, finding her stretched out across the bed.  He kneels between her legs and runs his hands up her thighs over her hips and stomach and then cages her between his arms, placing his palms on the bed on either side of her chest.  He leans down and licks her nipple, "You're a beautiful starfish," he says as he moves to the other breast.  "I'm going to kiss you everywhere," he says travelling down over her ribs with kisses.<br/>
Ben moves down the bed to kneel on the floor, Rey sits up and hands him a pillow to kneel on on the hardwood floor. Ben slides his hands under her lower back and grips her hips, sliding her down the bed. His wide shoulders spread her legs.  He places a kiss low on her belly and starts to trail soft kisses down across her mound and through her folds. Rey runs her hands over his fingers where they gently grip her hips.  His kisses are soft and warm and full of the promise of more.  He gently licks her open, sucking lightly at the sides, slowly building her up. He hasn't done this before, but trusts that Rey will let him know what feels good.</p><p>Rey’s eyes close, feeling a flush spreading from her face down her body as Ben tongues over her clit.  Every kiss, every lick and swipe of his tongue feels incredible, feels like love.  She pictures her love for him in her mind made up of different interlocking pieces like a puzzle.  One piece is friendship, another piece is comfort, followed by strength, beauty, humor, honesty, humility, compassion, empathy, intelligence, desire and so on.  There is one last piece but she's unsure what to call it.  Rey feels the bed move as Ben pushes his groin against it and moans, refocusing her attention.  Just knowing he's enjoying pleasuring her increases all the sensations running through her body.  It's as if her nerves were rubber bands that are being slowly pulled tighter with each swipe and caress of his tongue. Rey moans and rocks her hips.  Ben moves his hand to her mound and pulls the skin back to better expose her clit so he can increase the focus of his licking.<br/>
Rey's so close,  the rubber band ready to snap.  Ben slides his other hand around to her ass and lifts her up to his face.  He gently slides his thumb into her pussy.  The rubber band is so tight, her legs tremble, sweat beads on her face and chest. She’s panting with her eyes squeezed close, all of her muscles tense and she gasps. Her orgasm crashes over her, the band snapping, causing waves of pleasure to wash out from her clit to her extremities, like every cell in her body is doing a happy dance.  Ben's tongue doesn't stop until he feels her collapse back onto the bed. He places soft kisses on her exhausted, tender, red skin and gently slides his thumb out from her body.  He stands up and looks down at her.  She's a messy puddle with a small grin on her face and her eyes closed.  She's gorgeous.  He climbs onto the bed and lays on his side next to her. </p><p>"You're gorgeous," he says to her as he rests his hand on her belly.</p><p>She laughs and turns her head to look at him,"I'm sweaty," she replies. He leans down and kisses her.</p><p>"I like you sweaty.”</p><p>"You say that now, but what about when my boobs sag and I have rolls and stretch marks?"</p><p>Ben looks at her body and considers how it could change.  He runs his hand across her belly and then up to her breast and he holds it, gently squeezing and then moves it back down to her belly. His eyes go back to hers and he says, "I think I’ll love you even more. Any rolls will be made from eating meals with me.  If you get stretch marks it would be from carrying our babies. If your breasts sag it would be from feeding our babies.  How could I not love that?" </p><p>‘How does he do that,’ she thinks? ‘How does he say the perfect words that go right to my heart?’  She can see his sincerity in his face.  She doesn't know how to put words together like he does.  She decides to show him instead and pulls him into a fierce kiss, her tongue and hands caressing him.  She can feel his erection, hot on her belly.  She pushes him onto his back and kisses his neck, her hand running down his chest and over his abs and slowly towards his cock where it juts from his body.  She climbs over him sitting on his thighs so she can touch him with both hands.  He stares up at her with his eyes half closed waiting to see what she'll do next.  </p><p>"I remember when I first saw you hard like this," she says with a smile as she runs one finger from tip to base. Ben just keeps watching her. "It was our last day in the forest and you were asleep. I remember thinking how beautiful you were, laying there in all your glory. I couldn’t help but stare at you," she says as she wraps her fingers gently around the base of his shaft.  "I wanted to touch you," she says as she slowly strokes up over the head of his cock and Ben lets out a ragged breath. "I wanted to taste your lips, your skin, your cock,” she says as she leans over and kisses his belly, just above the tip of him. Her hand moves back down to his base, her hair falling around him.  She points with her other hand to the side table, "Hand me my hair tie?" She asks.  In a daze his hand fumbles around to find it and then he hands it to her.  She sits up straight, letting go of his cock and gathering her hair up into a messy bun.  She leans forward, placing her hands on either side of his waist and looking straight into his eyes and tells him to spread his legs.  She moves to lay in between them with her arms on his thighs and her knees bent with ankles crossed in the air behind her. Ben moves another pillow under his head.  </p><p>"I haven't done this before," she says softly.  "Just, um, tell me what you like," she says as she runs her fingers over the underside of his penis as it rests on his abdomen.  </p><p>Ben whispers, "Anything- everything you do feels good. You don't have to do anything, though, if you don't want to.”</p><p>"Oh, I want to," she says as she wraps her hand around his cock and brings it toward her face.  She plants a soft kiss to the tip and Ben's mouth drops open as he lets out a shaky breath. Her hand holds him firmly at the base as she licks across the head and all around it.  She sees a bead of liquid growing at the slit and licks it up.  She glides her tongue down one side of his shaft and then back up the other side and gives him a stroke with her hand.  Ben moans, his hands grabbing her upper arms.  Rey slowly opens her mouth over the tip and takes the head of his cock into her mouth to explore it with her tongue. Growing confidant, she slowly takes as much of him into her mouth as she can.  Her lips almost meet her hand where she holds the base of him.  Ben groans and she can feel his legs tense, like he's straining to not move.  Her mouth slides back up to the head and her hand follows.  She repeats the motion several times finding her limit because there is no way she can take all of him in her mouth.</p><p>"Rey, I'm getting close," he moans to her.  She thinks, 'that's good because my jaw is getting tired,' she doesn't say that though because she wants him to enjoy what she's doing and knows he’d stop her if he knew she was uncomfortable.  She pulls her mouth up to the head and sucks, hollowing her cheeks and wraps the fingers of her left hand around his hip and tries to pull him up a bit.  She wants him to thrust, gently, into her mouth. Ben understands and watches as he slowly pushes his cock deeper into her mouth until her lips meet her hand.  He groans as he pulls away and pushes back.<br/>
"Rey, I'm so close," he whispers.  Rey nods at him and continues sucking and licking.  Ben puts a hand on either side of her head, cradling her gently as he increases the pace of his thrusting.  His pelvis tilts, curling his hips into her, his heels digging into the mattress.  His eyes roll back in his head, his face a mix of pain and pleasure as he grunts and huffs and then he pushes into her one last time, his body shaking as he cums.  Rey holds him as deep as she can in her mouth as she feels his cock throb and his release hitting her throat. She slides her hand slowly up and down his shaft. Rey swallows, not minding the bittersalt flavor of him as she feels him relax and open his eyes.  His hands move from her head to under her arms and he lifts her, pulling her up and across his chest.  He hugs her to him and kisses her head.  His higher functions haven't returned yet so he doesn't speak. </p><p>They rest holding each other until Rey's hunger can't wait any longer and her stomach growls audibly.  Laughing, they get up, and get dressed. Ben starts to make dinner while Rey feeds Kylo and lets him out.  They eat and enjoy a relaxing evening together, drinking a beer and watching the sunset while sitting on the porch. Later they go to bed and fall asleep holding each other.</p><p>In the morning Rey wakes up first but instead of jumping up to start the day she lays still and looks at Ben. She quietly gets up to use the bathroom and when she comes back she gets into bed but instead of pulling the covers up she lays next to him, enjoying the sight of his naked body.  She softly runs her fingers over the smooth muscles of his arms, then his chest.  She moves a curl back from his face.  He's so lovely, every part.  She smiles when she sees his morning wood growing against his hip. She moves her body closer to him till she is pressed against him and slowly lifts her leg over his and runs it up his thigh to hitch over his hip. She rubs her pussy over his cock, grinding slowly, and kisses his clavicle.  His hand sleepily reaches for her, finds her waist, and slides to her back. He hums a low grumble with his eyes still closed.  Rey grinds against his cock again, feeling it grow and harden under her. His arm tightens around her and his eyes blink open. His lips brush against her forehead softly.  Rey reaches between them and lines his cock with her entrance, inserting the tip to rest just inside her.  Ben's hand travels down her back to her ass to hold her in place as he slowly pushes into her.  Rey's left hand threads through his hair as she places slow, lazy kisses over his cheek and jaw. They begin a slow rhythm of thrusting and grinding. Ben matches her tempo with his own slow kisses and soft touches and gentle thrusts.  Rey slides her hand between them to rub at her clit. Ben's hand wraps around her thigh as he slowly thrusts up, his cock filling her completely.  They both groan into open mouthed kisses.  Ben continues his leisurely pace, tender kisses and light touches. The only thing that quickens is their breathing.  Ben's hands slide to her back and he whispers "I love you so much honey.”  His words, his voice, his body, all working together to make her orgasm crash over her unexpectedly. He pushes in as deep as he can, feeling her body pulse and squeeze around his cock and he follows after her. They continue their kisses and touches until Ben's cock softens and slides from her body. </p><p>Kylo barks at them demanding breakfast.  They get up and ready for the day.  Ben starts breakfast while Rey unpacks her car, bringing her belongings into the house.  She puts her dirty laundry in the laundry room and starts a load in the washer machine.  She brings the bin with her bathroom stuff to the master bathroom and finds space in the cupboards for her things.  She carries the trash bag full of her winter clothes to the walk-in closet, sorting and hanging things on the empty side. In the kitchen she unpacks a cardboard box and pulls her favorite mug out to fill with freshly brewed coffee, she unloads the rest of the box, putting various other kitchen items away.  She has one box left in the living room but the french toast Ben has made is ready. They sit and enjoy the breakfast he’s made for them. After they eat, Rey cleans up the dishes and starts another load of laundry while Ben goes to the town dump to empty the load of junk they pulled out of the barn the day before.</p><p>Rey has the radio on, the washer and dryer going and the dog sitting next to her on the living room floor as she begins to go through her last box.  It's a cardboard box that she had to reinforce with duct tape on the bottom.  She's had this box for six years. It's been with her through four moves.  She pulls out two Botany books from college, a tattered paperback copy of Pride and Prejudice and a notebook half full of notes, scribbles, and lists.  She puts them on a shelf in one of the built in bookcases.  She picks up the box and pulls out a stack of DVDs and puts them with Ben's in the TV console and the few CDs she owns on another self with his.  She then finds a picture frame with a photo of her and Rose and she takes a step back to see the best spot on the bookcase for it.  Rey puts a large three wick candle on the coffee table.  Back in the box she finds the old tin can she had covered in patterned contact paper full of pens, pencils and paintbrushes and a pad of watercolor paper and finds a spot for them on the bookcase. Lastly, she pulls out a carved wooden trinket box that was a birthday present from Rose.  She opens the carved box and inside there is a shell from a day trip to The Cape, a silver pendant R that’s missing it’s chain, and one strand of black hair.  She closes the wooden box and puts it on a shelf.  She steps back to look at the shelves and then moves the box till she's happy with the placement.  </p><p>Ben walks in through the front door and kisses her cheek. "Want some coffee?" He asks as he walks towards the kitchen.</p><p>"Yes, please," she replies. She looks back into the box she's holding and it's empty, the edges of the box are tattered and fuzzy.  It reminds her of something.  It reminds her of the puzzle she saw in her mind when Ben was licking her to a small death yesterday afternoon.  And then, all at once the puzzle in her mind comes together, becoming crisp and clear.  The truth of it causes her to gasp, and cover her mouth with her hand, dropping the box to the floor.  The revelation becomes solid as her vision becomes cloudy.  She sobs into her hand as Ben enters the room with two coffees.  </p><p>He pauses when he sees her.  He takes in her expression, the empty box on the floor and her additions to the bookcase. He's afraid and confused. He takes a deep breath and continues towards her, putting the cups on the coffee table.  He stands in front of her, his hands at his sides and askes,"what's wrong Rey?"</p><p>She sees his concern and takes her hand from her mouth, revealing a small smile.  Both of her hands reach for his face and she pulls him in for a kiss, holding him tight until he responds, kissing her back. He holds her with one hand behind her head and neck and the other arm across her back.  She pulls away breathless.  Ben looks at her with a touch of confusion on his face, "what is it?" He asks</p><p>"I...I just realized something.  I've had this feeling since I've been here and I wasn't sure until now what it was." She says with an embarrassed smile on her face. </p><p>Ben wipes the tears from her face with a thumb on each cheek as he holds her face. "Oh, what is it?" </p><p>"For the first time in my life I feel at home," she whispers. Ben flashes his big smile, the one with the dimples.  She continues, "it's not just this house, as beautiful as it is, it's you, Ben.  You're my home.  I would live anywhere with you, even a shack in the woods," she says as she runs her nose along his.</p><p>"Honey, I feel it too.  You're my home too."</p><p> </p><p>The end.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you Chelsea, for all that you did to help and encourage me.  🖤🖤🖤</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Happy 4th of July!  I hope you enjoyed the fireworks!! 🥰</p></blockquote></div></div>
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